Gender Confusions
by MidnightNocturne
Summary: Sometimes, the gender of a few select Smashers can be confusing for the fans. During a trip to Delfino Plaza, all shall be revealed. Figuratively and literally. Since I don't think it's hard enough to be M, it's rated T.
1. Chapter 1

Cameras flashed like a chain reaction of TNT as the Smashers exited the limousine.

"KYAHHHHH~! He's beautiful!" a mob of girls screamed.

"Is that a dude or a chick?" some boys in the crowd wandered out loud.

"Hey! I heard that!" Marth roared, pointing an accusing finger. "I'm a MAN, you fools!"

"Still not convinced," one of them retorted nonchalantly.

Link ushered the prince forward. "Just ignore them."

Samus stepped out of the vehicle and the fans began to blurt different comments.

"It's Samus! He looks so cool!"

"Actually, Samus is a woman," a geeky-looking boy objected.

"I concur," another agreed as he adjusted his bowtie.

"You trying to ruin his image or something?" a mean-looking youth interrogated.

"But it's the truth!"

"Let's take this talk back to the alley."

"Doi!"

The Smashers ascended the steps to the hotel as they waved amiably or gave no response and stepped through the golden doors.

"I can't believe that ten thousands of fans actually traveled all the way to Delfino Plaza just for our promotion banquet," Ike, the newcomer, murmured astonishingly.

"You'll get used to it, newbie," Marth assured. "I'm sure you got your first sexual harassment experience from the fangirls just now."

"Not quite…," Ike muttered, recalling the merchant, Aimee, and her promiscuous advances back in Crimea. "Glad I'm away from her."

* * *

The group of celebrities made their way to the elevators and went to their respective rooms. Once inside, Samus removed her helmet Varia Suit and systematically unpacked her belongings from the suitcases that were delivered earlier.

"Hey, Samus. When are you going to stop pretending to be a man?" Peach asked, a little concerned that her friend's true gender was anonymous to the public.

"They only assume I am one," she answered monotonously, continuously organizing the clothes and hygienic items like a factory machine..

Peach sighed, a little irritated now. "I know Master Hand wants you to keep it cool so there won't be uproar in the public or something, but doesn't it bother you that most people think that you have a set of balls between your legs?"

"I don't mind."

"How can you be so indifferent?!" Peach exclaimed comically. "This can't be. Samus, are you sure you're feeling all right? We could see a doctor! A psychologist!"

"Peach, I'm sure Samus is fine. She's just like that," Zelda assured gently.

"I can't take the word of a girl's into BDSM and femdom right now!" Peach shot back hysterically.

"W-what?!"

"Yeah, I've accidentally walked into one of your sessions with Link. Now I'm scarred for life. Thank you."

"T-that's none of your business," the Hylian stuttered meekly. "And you're just sour because _he_ didn't get to be in the Brawl tournament!"

"You've just crossed the line, girlfriend!" the princess of the Mushroom kingdom rejoined sassily as she removed her white satin gloves to equip a pair of brass knuckles. "Prepare to get an ass-whooping of a lifetime!"

Peach bawled like a banshee as she tried to free herself from Samus's grip to slug the cowering Hylian.

_Why do women always fight when they talk about relationships?_ The bounty hunter wondered.

* * *

Marth flopped lazily onto the king-sized bed. "Sunshine Hotel is definitely has the best rooms in Delfino Plaza."

"There's more than pimped-out rooms here," Link reminded as he sat down beside his friend. "I heard the restaurant in the hotel is one of the best. And did you see that pool on our way up? It looked awesome!"

"Yes, I could use some more practice in swimming," Ike mused. "I want to see the gym they have here as well."

"Is training the only thing you think about?" Link questioned dubiously.

"Well… what else is there in life?" the mercenary responded with an innocent shrug.

Link exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck in stress. "Nothing else in life? The **BABES**, Ike! What about the fine women in this world? They're the main reason to go to the beach! Imagine Zelda in a two piece!"

Ike cocked his head in confusion, eyeing like as if he was a bizarre creature with multi-colored feathers.

"I'm sure _you've _seen all of Zelda during your many sessions with her," Marth commented casually. ("Thank the heavens that Pit wasn't rooming with us.")

"When- How did-"

"She left one of her 'items' in our room. And Peach told me about it."

"The cons of sharing a room…," Link remarked in defeat.

"She doesn't seem to be the type to be into that kind of stuff," the king mused.

"She's a totally different person once she gets started," the Hero of Time replied with a small shudder.

"Don't you get irritated that you're not the one in charge?" Marth asked curiously.

"Not really. I'll do anything for my dream girl," Link stated proudly.

_I guess there really is true love between them_, Marth noted with a small smile.

* * *

_**Okay. I've finally started an M rated fanfic. I feel dirty now :P**_

_**Hopefully there won't be that much naughty content**_


	2. Chapter 2

"Listen well, kids," the Master Hand announced in the lounge. "We're going to the Sirena Beach at 2, then we're to report to the Grand Pianta Statue at 7. The banquet is at 9, so you'll have plenty of time to do your hair or whatnot. Since its 1:20 right now, I suggest you all get your bathing suits. Dismissed."

The Smashers returned to their rooms, excited for the activities to do there or grumbling about how the beach was awful.

"This is perfect!" Peach squealed as she jumped up and down.

Her roommates looked at her, befuddled.

"Don't you get it? It's Sammy's chance to show how much of a woman she is! Not even all the Smashers know she's a girl!"

"Are you suggesting-" Samus began.

Peach hopped giddily onto the bounty hunter's back. "At places like the beach, it's a perfect opportunity for woman to show themselves off. Especially when you've got a body like this," Peach pointed out as she tried to fondle Samus's chest. "A two piece would be perfect-"

"G-get off!" Samus snapped as she shook the princess off, who daintily floated away to safety.

"Ooooh. Looks like tough girl here doesn't have much experience in this department."

"Of course not! I've never had time for crap like that and I've never had any interest."

"Oh, Sammy. Don't be so ignorant. Inside women, there are things called hormones-"

"I know more about biology than you do!" Samus asserted defensively.

Peach crossed her arms. "Perfect. Then you'll know more about the urges women have," she countered, emphasizing "urges" a little too much. "Just ask Zelda over here."

"H-hey! Don't drag me into this!"

Samus turned away. "I' m not going to the beach if I have to wear something so revealing."

Peach sighed heavily. "Sammy, Sammy. Why do you always have to make me the bad guy? I'll throw all your underwear off the balcony to a mob of fans and tell them that they belong to you. Even that lingerie and garter belt I gave you for Christmas."

"I've never worn those once and how are you going to get your hands on my stuff? I always put up top-notch security systems on my suitcase."

Peach raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Everyone in the Mansion knew the wily princess had unknown ways to attain personal items of others.

"Fine. I'll go, but I won't wear a bathing suit," the bounty hunter said firmly.

Peach smiled slyly. "Now where's the fun in that?"

Samus paled.

"Peach, are you really going to make Samus wear _that_?" Zelda asked, stupefied.

The Mushroom kingdom princess dramatically pulled out a sky blue bikini that was quite revealing, but not too skimpy to be slutty.

Samus fell back onto her bed, unconscious.

* * *

The three swordsmen rummaged through the swimsuits that were delivered by one of the Wire-Frames. Ike picked up a speedo and examined it. Noticing this, Link advised, "You don't want to wear that."

"Why not?"

"It's a social taboo here," Marth explained. "And the only person who wears something like that is-"

The door burst open and Captain Falcon galantly entered, complete in his Star-Spangled Banner speedo glory. "Greetings, young ones!" he boomed flamboyantly as his muscles rippled in salutation.

"-him," both the king and hero finished in a tone full of disgust and dismay.

"Ho, ho. It seems like you have trouble choosing a fashionable outfit," he remarked as he strode over to them.

"We're fine," Link quickly answered.

"I think not! Ah, here's a swimwear that represents the epitome of manliness!" the jovial racer declared as he lifted a bright pink speedo like the baboon from Lion King. "The pure essence of sweat and youth!"

"Get out," Marth burbled, clearly disturbed.

Oblivious that he was unwanted there, Falcon continued. "You boys are in the prime of your lives. It is your chance… no, your duty, to show the world your flowering passion through the brotherhood of sweat, youth, and speedos!" he rambled as he struck different poses.

Ike's expression was almost identical to this emoticon: 0_o

"Out of all the speedos you have, why _that_ one?" Marth groaned.

"Hahaha! I've been saving this for special occasions!" Falcon clarified proudly. "A-ee rub Ah Meh Ri Ca!" he asserted with bad English.

"You should leave now," Link said. "Did I tell you that Ganondorf and Bowser said they're not going?"

"Impossible! Who would want miss the time to bond with others in youth and muscle?! I shall convince our good comrades! Farewell! Remember: Sweat, youth, and muscle!" he chanted and pranced out the door like a stag.

"I thought it was Sweat, youth, and speedos," Marth mumbled.

"Let's just get a pair of swimming trunks," Link suggested. "I'm just glad he's gone."

"Yeah," Ike agreed.

* * *

In the end, the Master Hand convinced the two evil kings to board the Foxhound bus. Almost everyone was excited for their well deserved vacation. Ike saw that Samus was still wearing her armor.

"Hey, Marth. Why is he still wearing that?" the mercenary whispered.

"Who knows? I've never seen Samus out of his suit either," the king answered with a shrug. "We live on opposite sides of the Smash Mansion, so it's not a surprise that we don't know much about him. On top of that, Samus never talks."

Meanwhile, Peach was tormenting Samus.

"You promise to wear it?"

"…"

The princess inhaled sharply. "You give me no choice, Sammy."

"Fine, fine," the bounty hunter grumbled. "Doesn't mean that I'm going to go outside. We never agreed to that."

Peach scoffed as if it was something so blindly obvious. "Isn't that the main reason for wearing a bikini?"

Samus silently released a string of curses as she caved into her Morph Ball form.

* * *

"There may be a few cameramen who've paid good money to be here, but don't mind them," Master Hand informed. "Remember to play safely, and have fun. Dismissed."

Some of the Smashers headed to the bathrooms-changing rooms with their towels, sunscreen, and bathing suits while others reserved the best seats on the beach, which were under the shade of the parasols.

"I –I can't do this!" Samus exclaimed after holding up her would-be bathing suit and dashed out the changing room.

"Oh no you don't," Peach, who was already changed into her pink bikini, said as she ran after her friend.

In the boys' room, Link and Ike were already changed and incessantly nagged Marth.

"Come, on! What's taking so long?" Link demanded.

"Let's go wrestle!" Ike called out.

"It takes this sunscreen at least 20 minutes to be effective," Marth relied in an annoyed tone. "Just five more minutes."

"Doesn't matter if you get a little burnt," Link said impatiently as he crossed his arms.

"This fair skin is a sign of royalty. The nobles would get heart attacks if I return roasted."

"Whatever. Take as long as you like, princess," Link said playfully and left.

"Piss off, peasant," Marth countered with a smirk.

Link and Ike set down their towels on a chair and scanned the beach. Due to their reservations that day, Sirena Beach wasn't as crowded as it usually was on the weekends.

"It's Link and Ike!" a girl screamed.

Soon, the two were surrounded by a flock of fangirls who nagged for praise and endlessly complimented them.

"Shouldn't we be running?" Ike asked.

"Nah. There aren't enough of them to do any real damage, but don't let them get too comfortable."

Two security guards came over to put some distance between the idols and fans.

"Let's go," Link ushered as he anxiously ran to the waves.

* * *

"If you don't put this on right now, I'm seriously going to do it," Peach warned as she pushed Samus back in the direction of the restrooms.

"I can't wear that," the bounty hunter groaned. "It's vulgar!"

"Are you calling **me **vulgar? Fine," Peach huffed and pulled out a pink cellphone and rapidly dialed a number. "Hello? Toad, get ready to break into Samus's stuff-"

"Okay okay! I'll do it!" Samus submitted.

"Really?" the princess asked brightly and hugged her armored friend. "I'm so proud of you! I want you out here in two minutes," she ordered and ran off to where Zelda was. "Hey, Zelda! Why're you wearing a one piece?!"

"I'm going to kill that girl one day," the bounty hunter seethed as she walked to the entrance of the changing room. "I'm never going on these trips again."

Little did she know that she was walking into the men's changing room.

* * *

_**ohohohoho! wonder what's going to happen? derp 8D**_

_**Do you get what i did with the Greyhound buses to Foxhound from Metal Gear? oh well, i guess i'm just being a geek now. the next chapter will be up shortly**_

_**Please review, it means a lot to me! :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_IMPORTANT NOTE: For this chapter, you'll need either the audio or MV of Gangnam Style to create more of an effect. Your cue to turn it on will be self-explanatory. Enjoy!_**

* * *

After making sure that he was the only one left in the changing room, Marth pulled out his tiara from a small bag to make sure that it was undamaged. After all, it was a prized possession from his dear sister. Once confirming that there were no scratches or chips, he returned the headwear and began to undress.

* * *

Grumbling swear words, Samus walked into the changing room with her towel in hand, which effectively concealed her embarrassing bathing suit. She looked up in time to see Marth who was about to pull off his shirt and froze in place.

_Wait. Were those rumors of Marth really true? But why would he come here if he/she wanted to hide his/her identity?_

The king removed his shirt to reveal lean but well-defined abdominal muscles and a pair of decent pecs. The bounty hunter stood there as if in a trance for a few seconds before realizing, _Shit… I'm in the men' room._

Marth was now pulling down his boxers, making Samus stumble back a little.

"Umm, hey Samus," the swordsman greeted awkwardly as he pulled up his swimming trunks.

The armored woman slowly backed out of the changing room until she was out of sight.

Marth furrowed his brows and scratched the back of his head perplexedly.

* * *

Reluctantly, Samus slipped into the bikini and looked at her reflection in embarrassment. She tried to adjust the outfit to cover up as much as it could and once knowing it was futile, made a quick phone call to Zelda.

"Hello?" the Hylian princess said.

"Zelda, I need to ask you a favor," Samus requested in a collected tone.

"S-sure, what is it?" Zelda asked, surprised that the independent bounty hunter would ask for help.

"Can you herd all the Smashers away from the right side of the beach? As long as I'm outside, I'm keeping my end of the bargain with Peach. If I'm with people who've never seen me before, no one else would know that I wore something as skimpy as this. Do you think you can do it?"

"I-I'll try-"

"Thanks. I'll be counting on you," Samus thanked and hung up.

_What have I gotten myself into_? Zelda mentally groaned. "H-hey guys! Can you come over here for a second?"

* * *

Samus Aran self-consciously shuffled out of the bathroom and looked around before sneakily running to the right side of the seashore that Zelda cleared out. Only regular tourists remained, so it was safe for her. Once she thought that she was home free, the bounty hunter slipped on a banana peel that was probably left by Diddy or DK and flipped up into the air.

_Shit! I could do a back handspring and land safely, but it'll get unwanted attention from the other people here._ Expecting a hard landing, she was surprised to feel a pair of arms catch her.

"Are you all right?" a smooth voice asked.

The bounty hunter was face-to-face with Marth of Altea. The person she'd just seen naked was now holding her; this was too much, even for her.

"I'm… um, fine," Samus answered in the most composed voice she could manage at the moment.

"That's good to hear. We wouldn't want someone as gorgeous as you to get hurt," he said with a smile.

_This is _way _too close for comfort_, the blonde thought. _But it's a good thing he doesn't recognize me_.

The king set her down as cameramen rushed over to the scene, asking questions for commenting.

"It seems like Marth really is a man after all," one stated. "And he's got one heck of a body to prove it."

"After much confusion about his identity, it seems like the alleged pretty boy is just a pretty boy after all," another confirmed.

Full of confidence, Marth went into his obnoxious boy mode.

"This is for the haters out there," the swordsman announced as he exhibited his torso and made a shooting motion at the camera. "Proof."

_He's such a child,_ Samus thought scorningly and tried to push past the news crew. _I can't stay here for long._

A small crowd soon formed around them, full of curious spectators and screeching & grasping fangirls. Now her chances of escape were decimated.

"And who's this lovely lady beside you?" a reporter asked.

"Just a damsel in distress whom I've just saved," the king answered casually.

_I could have saved myself, thank you very much_, Samus thought bitterly.

"A true gentleman like always," the reporter mused. "On another note, even all the villains of Super Smash Bros. are here, but we haven't seen any signs of Samus Aran. Did he stay at the hotel or could he possibly be here in disguise?"

The bounty hunter flinched at the query, now having an urge to jump over the people to safety.

Before Marth could answer, two burly guards broke up the crowd. "Okay, people, that's enough. They're here to relax not to have cameras in their faces."

Obligingly, the blonde began to sneak away before the blunette grasped her hand. "Are you going to leave without a word of thanks?" he questioned lightheartedly.

"Thanks," she grumbled incoherently and tried to leave again, but Marth's grip tightened.

"Wait. Can you at least give me your name?" he asked hopefully.

"Ummm… Virginia," she mumbled, trying not to make eye contact.

"Virginia? Doesn't really suit you, but okay," he said, unconvinced, as he loosened his grip. "Maybe we could hang out later?"

"Yeah," she mumbled awkwardly as she started to walk away.

"You, you're a fighter, aren't you?" Marth asked.

Samus almost froze. _How-?_

"Not everyone has those types of calluses on their hands," he continued matter-of-factly. "But don't worry; I like women who can take care of themselves."

_Damn it. He's too perceptive. I should keep my distance_," she considered as she hurried her pace.

"And try to make eye contact when you talk, Virginia. Your eyes are beautiful!" he called after her.

Samus silently swore to herself for giving out her late mother's name.

* * *

On the left side of Sirena Beach, Zelda tried to entertain the gathered Smashers with karaoke. As she stumbled over her words, the villains booed loudly over the tambourines of the younger fighters.

"Get off the stage!" Bowser bellowed rudely.

"Take it all-a off!" Wario crowed and even threw his precious Monopoly money onto the platform.

Link buried the biker's gargantuan head into the sand and went over to the dejected princess to comfort her.

King Dedede took the stage, wearing a pair of sunglasses and lying lazily down on a beach chair. "This is how you really do it."

A familiar beat echoed from the speakers as Dedede said, "Oppan Dreamland style!"

The Smashers cheered, not because the self-proclaimed king was the most popular guy around, but because Gangnam Style is just that awesome.

"Oppan Dreamland style!" he repeated as he got up from his seat.

"Naje-neun ttasaroun inkanjeo-gin yeoja  
Coffee hanjanye yeoyureuraneun pumkyeok i-nneun yeoja  
Bami omyeon shimjangi tteugeowojineun yeoja  
Geureon banjeon i-nneun yeoja," he sang as Lucas did a modest shuffle dance beside him.

Naneun sana-i  
Naje-neun neomankeum ttasaroun geureon sana-i  
Coffee shikgido jeone wonsyas ttaerineun sana-i  
Bami omyeon shimjangi teojyeobeorineun sana-i  
Geureon sana-i!" he continued as the Smashers joined in on every "sana-i."

"Areumdaweo sarangseureoweo  
Geurae neo, (hey) Geurae baro neo (hey)

Areumdaweo sarangseureoweo  
Geurae neo (hey) Geurae baro neo (hey)

Jigeumbu-teo gal dekkaji gabol-kka~!" he sang the last line and lustfully gaped point-blank range at the posterior of Peach, who was tanning in the sun, which earned him a destructive kick to his nose from the princess.

"Oppan Dreamland style," he continued with a bloody nose, dancing as the dripping blood seemed to dance with him. "Dreamland style. O- O- O- O- Oppan Dreamland style. Eyyyyyyyy~ sexy lady!"

Soon, the rest of the Smashers joined him in the dance craze and Dedede confidently began the second verse.

"Jeongsu-khae boijiman nol ttaen noneun yeoja  
Ittaeda shipeumyeon mukkeot-deon meori puneun yeoja  
Garyeot-jiman wen-manhan nochulboda yahan yeoja  
Geureon gamkakjeo-gin yeoja," he sang while having a mini dance battle with Waluigi.

"Naneun sana-i  
Jeomjanha boijiman nol ttaen noneun sana-i  
Ttae-ga dwehmyeon wahnjeon michyeobeorineun sana-i  
Geunyukboda sasangi ul-tungbul-tung-han sana-i  
Geureon sana-I," he sang while lying on his stomach with an annoyed Ganondorf doing the pelvic thrust over his head.

"King Dedede, aka D, has drawn quite a crowd of followers with his new smash single, Dreamland Style," a reporter from Smash Central stated. "Looks like he's set to go on the upcoming show, Smash Idol, which will air next January."

* * *

_**Yeah, that whole Gangnam Style thing was just a small experiment of mine to try out different stuff. But what's that reporter talking about "Smash Idol"? Maybe a premonition for future stories? who knows...**_

_**I know sometimes reviewing seems like a pain but these feedbacks mean a lot to me. even a short one is fine! thank you all for reading! **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Did everyone enjoy the Gangnam Style thing? I need to know if it was an effective technique. Did you play the music as you were reading? Please give feedback. thank you very much for reading!**_

_**For Iris Prisma: **_

_**I wanted to reply by private messaging but it seems like you disabled it, so i'll reply right now if you don't mind.**_

_**First of all, your English is is very good. (at least better than my Spanish or French :P I know you speak Portuguese from your profile ;) ) I'm really honored that someone whose primary language isn't English would take her time to read my fanfic. I'm sincerely touched. YOu're from Brazil? that's so cool! I wanna really want to visit Brazil one day! I'm really glad you're enjoying fanfiction. So you said you have trouble reading some of the more difficult vocabulary? okay, i'll try to describe some of the stuff that might be hard to understand. I'm really happy about this review; i've never thought that someone from a different country would read this! I'll upload more fanfics that are entertaining yet easy to understand. Thank you so much for your support!**_

* * *

Samus sat against the palm tree, hugging her legs against her chest, watching the sun slowly descend down to the horizon. The desolate area she was in seemed to clam her nerves.

_If I could just stay like this for maybe an hour more…_

Just then, a large group of men passing by noticed her, grinning as they approached. They seemed to be in two cliques but nevertheless looked close. All had similar characteristics: tattoos of Chinese characters, strange red/orange tans, sunglasses, and short hair spiked up with too much gel. They said things to each other such as: "she fine", "dang, look at the curves on this one", and "gotta get me a piece of that".

_Sort of looks like a porcupine,_ she thought. _Hopefully, they'll give up quickly._

"Hey girl, what'ya doin' here by yoself?" the one in the middle of the group asked as he needlessly fixed his hair.

"Go away," she growled as she stared daggers at the man.

"Oh, she a scary one, bro," his taller friend pronounced. "Hey, babe. How 'bout ya hit up the club with us? It's the dope!"

"You got that right!" another guy agreed as high-fived his friend and they both started to fistpump enthusiastically.

"I thought I told you to piss off," Samus snarled and strengthened her glower.

"Shit man, she like dat chick ya tried to hook up with yesterday," he snickered as he nudged his buddy. "Oh, when she got that Mace all over ya… I feel fo you."

"Shut the f*** up," the first man suddenly roared as he temperamentally lifted a fist to strike, only to be pulled back by his other companions.

"Whoa, man!" "Chill out, bro," they assuaged.

Clearly annoyed by their repugnant demeanor, the bounty hunter got up and began to move away from them. This fazed the men as they looked at each other as if to say "Can you believe this girl?" They quickly caught up to her, chuckling amongst themselves as they began to examine her body. Feeling violated, Samus tried to cover herself without looking too insecure.

_I knew I should have brought a towel._

"Whoa, slow down, babe. A fine girl like you should be with hunks like us," the supposed leader of the group insisted as he adjusted his sunglasses. "Don't think ya seen a guido before. We **kings** around here!"

"Fuck off," she spat.

"Eyyy, don't be like that, doll," he cooed and forcefully pulled the blonde to his side, making his friends hoot and holler.

"Don't _touch_ me," the bounty hunter snapped as she tried to pull away without using her full strength. _I don't want to get more unwanted attention now._

"I know you beggin' fo some of this," the guido said licentiously as he drifted his hand lower on her back.

Wrong move. Quick as lightning, Samus elbowed his nose and side-kicked him to his group. Even as they managed to catch their injured friend, they were shell-shocked, gaping stupidly at he woman. Groaning in pain, their leader croaked, "Da f***, man."

"Shit! That bitch broke his nose!" one of the clique members gasped.

"F***ing slut is gonnna pay!" another howled as he tightened his fists.

"Let's just f*** her right here right now!"

The group surrounded Samus, fists raised in pure rage.

The fighter carefully analyzed the opponents.

_I never wanted to make it come to this. About fifteen of them, all of them are hesitating; no real fighters in the group. Their stances are horrible and their arms aren't in the right position to protect their head, ribs, or stomachs. I'll make this quick-_

"Ahh, it seems like chivalry really is dead," a new voice sighed. "And so will you fools be."

Before anyone could respond, a leg spun around to knock one of the assaulters down.

"Da f***?" the man beside him exclaimed before taking a roundhouse kick to the side.

The rest of the troupe back up to get a better view of the attacker.

"Marth?!" Samus exclaimed in shock.

"Hello again, Virginia," he greeted with a slight bow. "You must be very popular."

"Hey, it's that guy that looks like a chick from that fighting thing on TV!" one guido yelled. "He knows kung fu or some shit!"

"It's cool, bro. There's only one of him. Besides, we work out!"

"Let's beat the shit out of this pussy!" another bellowed as they advanced onto the Smashers.

"Get behind me, Virginia," Marth ordered, and Samus reluctantly complied.

Rushing to the aggressors, he ducked lowly to dodge a wild punch before striking his foot upwards from his crouched position to the first victim's face. As he got up, the king skillfully dodged another James Bond style hookpunch and delivered a punch of his own to the man's solar plexus (you know the middle of the torso where it really hurts), sending him tumbling across the sand.

"F*** you!" the nearest guy roared and tried to body slam him.

Marth flipped over the charge as he performed an axe-kick to the back of the head in midair.

A second attacker rammed into his stomach just as he lightly landed, and they both fell to the ground. But instead of being cruched under the heavier man's weight, Marth used the momentum from the tackled to roll both of them back until he was on top. Pinning the guido's arms down with his own, he gave a strong headbutt, knocking him out cold.

Rubbing his forehead as he got up, the royal grunted, "Hopefully this won't leave a bruise."

"Hey! Do you really have time to think about your looks at a time like this!?" the bounty hunter scolded from a few feet away. "Behind you!"

"Thank you!" Marth called back in English while he hit the assailant with a back-kick.

Now the remaining foes focused more on Samus. The blonde effortlessly performed kicks, strikes, and throws to take them out. Now only three stood unharmed. They seemed to be weighing their chances or contemplating between their brains' warnings and their raging testosterone.

"Hey, what's going on over here," Donkey Kong demanded in a sober tone as a walked over to the fray. Not needing a bathing suit, he wore a pink polo shirt (not with the collar up) and a pair of sunglasses. Diddy Kong was behind him, wearing similar attire.

The guidos, both wounded and unwounded, stared at the great primate, dumbfounded.

The giant gorilla turned to Marth. "Hey, pretty boy!" he addressed friendlily as they fistbumped. "There a party goin' on here or somethin'?"

"Doesn't look like much of a party, doesn't it, you dumb ape?" Marth replied jokingly.

"Stop callin' me that. It hurts, ya know," DK chuckled as he switched his attention to the attackers and his face scrunched up. "Who them fools?"

"Poor excuses for men who used underhanded ways to get women."

The gorilla snatched off his eyewear very Hollywood-action-movie-style to glare at them. "You one of _those_ guys, aren't ya?"

"We just want some fun but that little bitch f***ed shit up!" one of them managed to retorted angrily.

"Shut yo mouth! I know ya pussies gotta rufie women to get some!" DK roared as he slammed down a fist for silence.

"Yeah. You know who ya fools talkin' to?" Diddy added as he waved his peanut gun around menacingly. "Brother, we outta shove lead up their ass!"

"Be cool, Did. This should let them Guidos know," Donkey Kong said as he began to fistpump to the beat of music that was playing through the speakers on the beach.

The guidos stared, as if spellbound by the ape's painfully easy "dance move."

"Bro, he's perfectly on beat," one gasped.

"And he be usin' full power," another breathed.

"That means he the-"

"That's right, gay boys!" Diddy Kong crowed. "He the-"

"King of Guidos, Donkey Kong!" the third guy finished.

"Hey! Don't ya dare drag me down to yo level!" DK snapped as he finished charging up his punch. "I the king of gentlemen bros! If ya fools don't want to get f***ed up by my Fistpump Punch, scram!"

[Fistpump Punch: an evolved from of the Giant Punch, only three times stronger. Achieved only through years of training with the Monkey King (Sonogong, Songoku, Sunwukong). Requires good party music. **No dubstep or any type of **_**rave party**_** music!**]

Grumbling, the guidos who were unscathed enough to walk picked up their fallen companions and left.

"Ya still gonna get lead up yo ass!" Diddy called after them.

"Thank for that, DK," Marth thanked.

"Just doin' my duty," the gorilla answered. "Now, who that lady ya helped/" he asked curiously as he noticed the bounty hunter trying to sneak away. "Wait! Sa-?"

He was cut off when Samus swung her leg up to his delicate parts and crumpled to the ground. Marth and Diddy Kong stared, stupefied.

"What'ya do that for!?" the chimpanzee howled as he jumped up and down in anger.

"Sorry, gotta go," she mumbled and turned around to leave.

"Hey! Give me an explanation!"

Marth quickly walked up to her. "Then I'm going with you. You don't know when those creeps are coming back."

"I can take care of myself," she growled, walking faster.

"I can see that. You were amazing; it reminded me of Samus's fighting style. I'm sure you've seen him on TV."

Out of desperation, the blonde began to run.

"Where are you going!?" the blunette called out as he caught up with her.

Samus swiftly aimed a spin-kick at his head, which was dodged. She threw a barrage of different attacks at him, hoping to catch him off guard. Marth managed to block or elude them, but thought, _She's fast. Maybe even faster than me. I can't let this go on for too long…_

The bounty hunter attempted to strike him with a jumping side-kick with both feet. Seeing his chance, Marth twisted his body to the side for evasion, trapped the woman's waist under his arm, and pushed her to the ground. She tried to arise, only to be deterred by his face closing in onto her's.

"Why do you seem so familiar?" he asked softly as he firmly held her legs together. "I've never seen you face before, but I feel like I've known you for a long time."

_Damn, why don't I want to just punch his face?_ She demanded herself furiously.

Samus struggled frantically as Marth leaned into her ear. "Care to tell me your secret?" he whispered. Grabbing his neck into a guillotine chokehold, she used her other hand to hold his arm behind her neck and flipped the king over into a hard landing.

"Ow! Where the hell did you learn a move like that?" he mumbled in pain.

Quickly getting up, Samus was about to leave when a dreadfully familiar voice called out as it was getting closer, "Sammy~! If you're done beating up Marth, get you big butt over here!"

_Damn Peach,_ the bounty hunter cringed and froze in place.

"Samus, where?" Marth questioned, abruptly swinging himself up. "Didn't he just disappear on us?"

"Idiot," Peach grunted as she came to a stop and knocked to back of his head. "She's right in front of you!"

Marth almost scampered back in shock. "Wait- but… Samus… he… she," he blubbered.

"What are you trying to say?!" the princess demanded impatiently.

"But Samus… is a ….girl?"

"OF COURSE SHE'S A GIRL!" Peach screamed at the top of her lungs while incessantly smacking the man's head with her frying pan. Once done venting out her frustration, she pulled up a half brain-dead Marth and pulled his eyes opened to give him a better look at Samus. "Look at that! How can a body that looks like it was carved by God himself not belong to a girl? And that face! A perfect blend of a mature yet youthful countenance that may only belong to Aphrodite! Those eyes that look like gems embedded into eye sockets! Those lips that-"

"Stop that! Do you know how creepy that is?!" Samus snapped.

"Okay, sorry," Peach said without a hint of remorse in her voice as she let Marth drop to the ground. "We have to get back to the others though. Just one more hour and we'll have to leave for the fan meeting."

SAmus began to dash away until Peach slurred in an evil voice, "Oh Sammy~. You're aware that I can add _anything _to our little contract, aren't you? So be a good girl and come with me."

Full of despair, the bounty hunter walked back to the princess.

"What are we gonna do about him?" she motioned to Marth.

"Bring him along," Peach answered dismissively. "Give him a Heart Container and he'll be as good as new."

* * *

_**So Marth knows now... it's only a matter of time before the others find out! Chapter 5 will be uploaded tommorow!**_

_**Note: yeah i hate the new "Guido" Italian crap. the more traditional Italian style is classier and has more substance. Wait, is Guido even really Italian? Isn't it like American pizza where they say it's Italian but it's really not? And yeah i hate dubstep. Sometimes fusions of dubstep and other genres may occasionally sound good, but dubstep itself is a big nono. so i'm sorry Guido and dubstep lovers for bashing them.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Meanwhile, one the seashore, the Smashers enjoyed the last hour of sunshine as they tanned and played Marco Polo or Volleyball. Even Ganondorf seemed to have fun as he mercilessly spiked the Volleyball to Toon Link's side of the net every time and laughed evilly.

"Fear not, children! Captain Falcon shall assist you!" the zealous racer announced as he entered the fray with a bird-like pose.

"Captain Falcon!" the youngsters gasped in awe.

"Let us begin, dear comrade-in-arms!" he blared as he pointed a challenging finger at the Gerudo king.

"Wait! I'll play too!" Ike called out as he emerged from the waves.

"Count me in!" Fox shouted as he returned from surfing.

Captain Falcon inhaled dramatically. "Ahhh! The exuberance of youth is in the air! Here I come, comrade!"

Now with more balanced teams, the game continued.

"Falcon Dive!" the hero shouted as he slid across the sand to hit up the ball with explosive flames. "Now it's up to you, comrades!"

"Aether!" Ike spun in the air and slammed the ball down with golden energy to the opposing side.

Using Green Tornado, Luigi created a mini twister to stop the ball from hitting the ground and gave his teammates a good setup.

"Die," Ganondorf growled and jumped high into the air with a Warlock Punch. Roaring in pure rage, he brought down his fist and smashed the recovered ball. Opposing players frantically ran from the area of fire as the projectile created a crater in the sand with a radius of three meters.

"Mwahahaha!" he gloated at Toon Link. "You cannot win this game, puny Hero of Time!"

"Wow, picking on little kids. Now that's what you call the King of Evil," Link said sarcastically to himself as he sipped his fruit smoothie. ("What the hell is that ball made out of anyways?")

* * *

Mario spied Peach and Samus walking towards him with an unconscious Marth.

"Peachie, what-a happened?" Mario asked worriedly as he rushed over to them.

Grimacing, Peach weighed her options.

{WHAT WILL PEACH DO:

[FIGHT] [PKMN]

[BAG] [RUN]

FIGHT:

[DOUBLE SLAP] [FAKE TEARS]

[PEACH BOMBER] [INSTANT DEATH!]

PEACH used FAKE TEARS!

It's super- effective!}

"Oh, Mario! It was horrible! The coconuts…" she sniffed as she clung to the plumber.

"Coconuts?" he repeated, perplexed.

"Yes, the coconuts! They, um… fell down suddenly and Marth pushed me out of the way. But he got hurt instead! Wahhhh! It's all my fault!"

"Don't blame yourself, Peachie," Mario comforted as he patted her reassuringly.

The princess gave as side-ways glare at Samus as if to say "Talk, and you're dead!"

Captain Falcon abandoned the Volleyball game to see to his friend.

"My God! Who is the culprit behind this devious crime?"

"The… *sniff*… coconuts," Peach sobbed.

"Cadet Lucas! Get the first aid kit and give our comrade the Heart Container!" he ordered.

"Y-yes sir," his unofficial sidekick saluted and ran off to help.

The racer sized up the nearest palm tree. "You bastards! Do you think that you and your kind will house these villainous coconuts and get away with it?! Prepare to answer to justice!" '

He landed a devastating punch on it, only to make a crack in the trunk. A sweatdrop of apprehension slid down his face. "These must truly be the vegetation of the Devil. You shan't continue your evil ways, coconuts! I, Captain Falcon, shall rid this beach of you villains! Have at thee!" he shouted mightily and continued to punch the tree. Due to the force of his attacks, coconuts began to drop onto his head. "Ah ha! So you have finally shown some retaliation, villainous plant! Let us see who shall endure! For Jean ban Dahm (Jean van Damme)!"

"While a regular tree would have fallen from Captain Falcon's punch, the palm trees here in Delfino Plaza are the sturdiest of all in Nintendo," Zelda explained as she watched the captain punching away and receiving blows from the falling fruits.

"Sometimes, I can't believe that I got a smart and beautiful girlfriend," Link praised affectionately as he nuzzled his face against her neck, making her blush. "Why doesn't he just Falcon Punch it?"

"Even with the Triforce of Knowledge, I can never tell why he does things," the princess admitted.

With a triumphant cry, Falcon bore his fist through the tree. Even with a fountain of blood springing from his head, he closed his eyes and raised his hands in victory, unaware of the broken palm tree falling on top of him.

Marth had recovered with the help of Lucas's Heart Container and was beginning to stand up. "Thanks, kiddo," he grinned and affectionately ruffled the psychic's hair.

Peach rushed to him and placed both hands on his shoulders. "Oh, Marth! Thank you so much for saving me from the coconuts! Are you alright now?"

"Coconuts?"

"Yeah, the _coconuts,_" reiterated, boring her eyes into his with hidden dark intentions and putting his recovering shoulders into a vice-grip. The message was clear: "I know where your tiara is."

"Oh, yeah. The coconuts," he said apprehensively.

"It's great that your fixed up now," Ike commented. "But who's she?" he asked as he looked to the bounty hunter

"Isn't it obvious? That's Samus," Peach said matter-of-factly.

Ike looked as if he turned to stone. The only ones who weren't surprised were some of the Melee fighters and the fighters from the original tournament. Except for Captain Falcon.

"Impossible! Sasmus Aran was this goddess of beauty all along?!" he exclaimed in sheer astonishment as he popped out from under the tree.

"You knew her since the first tournament, you idiot!" Fox snapped frustrated.

"Yeah, I'm a girl," Samus announced. "Do any of you have a problem with that?"

Silence.

Then Captain Falcon, Snake, Falco, Bowser, Wario, Diddy Kong, Mr. Game & Watch, King Dedede, and Sonic crowded her with demands for her love.

Wait, guys," Marth began, trying to tell them of what happened earlier with the guidos.

"Get away from me!" Samus demanded. "I've already had bad experiences with men crowding me today!"

"Please bear my children!" Capatin Falcon pleaded on his knees. "I'm only 31!"

"Hello no!"

"So, you've had bad experiences with men?" Snake asked smoothly. "I can fix that. 11 o'clock, Sunshine Hotel room #583. It's a private suite."

"I'll die before I go anywhere with you!"

"I see why Fox didn't tell me about your secret," Falco remarked. "Don't worry though. I'll treat you right."

"You're not even human!"

"Racist! I knew all pretty girls are bitches!"

"Hey!" Peach barked.

"You don't even meet my standards," the avian snorted.

"You're dead!" the princess shrieked and ran after Falco with her pan and gold club.

"Let me kidnap you!" Bowser groveled in front of Samus. "After Peach started to meet him, I've never been the same! Have some compassion for this Koopa!"

"Didn't you listen to what I said about non-humans?!"

"Let me into your pants, Samus baby!" Wario demanded as he wiggled his tongue revoltingly.

"I'm going rip that tongue out of your mouth!"

"Just give me a chance, and I'll treat ya right~," Diddy Kong tried to sing along with the R&B song.

"You're a monkey!"

"We like from the same ancestors with humans!"

"That doesn't count!"

"Beep~!" Mr. G&W beeped as he held up his scoreboard: 10 and began to rapidly pressing his pump ( his A attack) .

"That's disgusting!"

You're so much better than Amy!" Sonic gushed.

"Didn't you hear me earlier?!"

"Areumdaweo sarangseureoweo  
Geurae neo, (hey) Geurae baro neo (hey)

(_You're beautiful, you're lovable_

_That's right it's you (hey) that's right it's just you (hey))_" King Dedede sang Dreamland Style as he cooly lowered his sunglasses.

"Ew, no!"

Peach returned from giving Falco a premature burial (burying someone alive) and said to Zelda, "We gotta help her, Zel!"

"How?" her friend asked hoplessly.

"Try to put up a big enough force field for a few second and I'll take care of the rest," Peach commanded as she pulled out a walkie-talkie from out of nowhere. "All units, move into coordinates 85.37'- 39.036'. Prepare to engage targets in 8 seconds"

Zelda concentrated her magic to form a Nayru's Love large enough to fend off the raving males.

"Thanks, Zelda!" Samus called back as a wave of relief washed over her.

With angry cries of protests, they began pounding at the barrier.

"Zellie, put down the forcefield in 4, 3, 2, 1, NOW!" Peach ordered.

The magical shield disappeared and a squadron of Toads popped out of the ground and sprayed the incoming males with pepper spray.

"Aughhhh! I'm blind!" Sonic screamed, obviously experiencing his first Mace attack.

"Why!" Bowser wailed in agony. "I thought we had something special between us, Peach!"

"Damn princesses!" Falco growled as he rolled around in pain.

"You've all just been PEACHED!" the pink-clad blonde boomed as she made some sort of gang symbol of her kingdom at her fallen victims in a very ungirly manner.

"Now, who wants something to drink?" she asked the Smashers sweetly.

* * *

Samus sat in a crouched position on her beach chair trying to avoid the stares from Smashers and tourists alike. Now everybody knew her secret. The bodyguards had to even kick the news crew off the beach for getting too close. She knew Peach wanted to do this a long time ago so that the reaction from the public and Smashers won't be so severe. Although she wanted to blame the princess for this, she knew that her friend was doing what was best for her. Also, she knew Peach was desperate for her to have fun like the all the normal girls.

_Can this day get any worse? _she wondered as she remembered the people staring at her and her attire. _Why does this have to be so humiliating? I never even thought that I had these types of emotions._

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a towel being draped over her. She pulled the towel over herself and looked up to see the blue-haired king.

"You look uncomfortable in that."

"Hey! We were-a watching that!" Wario barked irately along with Snake Falco, and Mr. G&W.

"Leave Sammy alone!" Peach scolded them as she passed by.

"Yes, your Excellency," they bowed with gritted teeth and left.

Marth sat down beside the bounty hunter and twiddled his fingers awkwardly. Very unlike him. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine once the initial uproar dies down," Samus answered in her regular monotone voice without facing him.

Another moment of silence. "Please forgive Snake and the others. They're probably acting this way because of the uneven male-to-female ratio at the Mansion. It makes them a little desperate. They're usually nice guys; I'm sure you'd know."

"Hm."

"If you need someone to talk to-"

"Why do you care?!" the blonde demanded angrily as she shot up and glowered at him.

"Because you're my friend," he answered calmly.

She scoffed. "Friends? We don't even talk to each other!"

"We're talking now, aren't we?"

"Aughhh!" she growled in frustration and threw the towel at him.

"You remind me of myself, really," the king chuckled and tossed the towel back to her. "Here. You'll need this."

"Who are you to compare me to yourself? A royal brat who's given everything he wants in life," she hissed spitefully.

"Just like you, I wanted people in my life, but I felt like I didn't deserve them; thus, I never let anyone in."

Samus was taken aback. _What the hell is he talking about? I don't _need _people sticking their noses into my private life. Or-_

"King Marth!" a high-pitched voice called out. A girl probably in her high school years and her friend excitedly ran up to the blunette and tightly hugged his arm.

"Actually, an emperor now," he politely. "And you are?"

"You don't remember me? When you were giving out Christmas presents during the Melee Tournament..."

"Ah, the girls in the elf costumes! Sora and Mari, right?"

"You remembered!" Sora yelped in delight as she and Mari began to squeal and fan themselves with their hands.

"That new haircut's cute," Marth complimented as he gently touch her hair. "And Mari, you look more like a woman now."

This made them almost scream.

"You've always looked gorgeous. Everywhere," Mari gushed.

"But now you look _hot in that_," Sora finished as she wishfully examined his body.

Samus stood there impatiently. How the heck could he manage his admirers like that? And now they were somehow beginning to piss her off.

"Hey, we were talking here!" the blonde snapped.

Marth looked up with an amused expression as if to say: "So were you really interested in what I was saying?" The two girls finally seemed to recognize her existence as they examined her with disdain.

"Who's she?" Mari asked derisively.

"Look at what she's wearing," Sora commented.

"So improper," her friend added.

Marth looked up to the older woman for permission. Samus gave a small nod with a grimace, again starting to get the slightest feeling of insecurity by the girls' remarks.

"Girls, let me introduce to you Samus Aran."

They looked at her wide-eyed, having trouble processing the information.

"Wait, she's…"

"Yeah, yeah," Samus growled. "Go tell it on the mountain."

"I'll be going now," Sora said slowly as she left.

"Me too."

Samus faced Marth with one eyebrow raised.

"Don't tell me you were jealous," Marth groaned.

"Don't flatter yourself, pretty boy. It's rude to leaving people hanging in the middle of a conversation."

"My apologies. Where were we?"

"HELP!" a woman shrieked. The two quickly ran to the scene to see a middle-aged woman on the seashore, screaming for help as tears poured down her face. "My children are out there!"

Confused, they turned to the suddenly harsh sea to make out three figures trying to stay afloat.

"Riptides," Link explained with a scowl as he arrived. "They just announced that there will be unexpected riptides. The kids probably didn't hear it very well from out there. I'm going in to save them."

"You too, Squirtle," Satoshi (the Pokémon Trainer) said as his turtle-like pet jumped into the waves after Link.

"I'll go too," Samus decided as she handed the towel back to Marth.

"Be careful," he warned before she began to powerfully swim through the rough waters.

When she caught up two the others, Link was already turning back, holding a small boy.

Samus spotted his younger brother a few feet away and quickly swam to him. Seeing that he wasn't breathing, she called for Squirtle. The Water-type Pokémon obediently came over.

"Squirtle, this kid isn't breathing. You're the faster swimmer so bring him to shore and get a healer like Zelda to revive him ASAP."

"Squirtle?" he asked.

"Don't worry about me. I'll find the other kid and return. Make this boy your priority."

"Squirt!" he answered and took the boy.

As if the weather wasn't bad enough, it started pouring. Looking around, Samus saw a bit of yellow and red and made her way to it. A lifejacket, but no child.

_Must have been pulled off from the waves,_ she speculated. _But she couldn't have drifted far._

Taking a deep breath, she dove below the surface and pushed through the strong water currents. After looking around, she spied a small body floating downwards. Frantic to save her, Samus kicked through the water and just managed to pull the girl up. Once she resurfaced, the bounty hunter swam back to the direction of the beach. It seemed almost hopeless as the tides seemed to work against her. Now exhausted, her vision began to diminished when she saw Squirtle wading towards her.

"Squitle… take her and go," she ordered. "I'll… catch up."

"Squirtle!" he said adamantly.

"You're… not strong enough…. to carry us both," she pointed out as she started to swim. "And she's.. in a worse state… than her.. brother. Needs help right... now."

"Squir-!"

"That's an order! I don't... die easily."

With a sorrowful glance at Samus, the Pokémon held the unconscious girl and pushed forward with powerful strokes.

"F***," the blonde swore as fatigue overwhelmed her.

* * *

On the shore, Squirtle dragged the little girl to Zelda, who quickly began to work her healing magic.

"Where's Samus?" Peach demanded worriedly.

"Squirtle, Squirtle, squirt," he replied glumly.

"That stupid woman," Marth growled as he ran to the waves and dived in. _A__t least the swimming lessons that the Master Hand made us go through are going to pay off now._

"Marth! Are you crazy?!" Link yelled at his friend as the blunette was now far from shore.

A hand patted the Hylian's shoulder reassuringly."Don't worry. We'll have a search party in the air when the weather clears up," Snake informed.

"They could be **dead** by then!" Link protested.

"Even if we go after them now, we won't be able to navigate through this kind of weather," the mercenary explained calmly as he tried to protect his lit cigarette from the rain. "Don't you trust your friends?"

"Of course I do! It's just that-"

"Then have faith in them. They're Smashers for a reason."

"I'll call over some Winged Koopas that are staying around here," Bowser promised. "I'll have them in the air as soon as possible."

Despite his friends' heartening words, Link stared grimly at the relentless waves as al hope escaped him.

* * *

**_Daammmnnn! things got serious! The next chapter is extra long, so it'll take more time to finish. Don't forget that i'm open for free commission stories!  
_**


	6. Chapter 6

Samus slowly opened her eyes and lazily looked around her. Dark clouds covered the night sky and the sand beneath her was damp from the newly fallen rain.

_I must be have been brought to shore,_ she thought. _Wait, what the hell is this?_

On top of her was a large palm leaf that covered her bare chest.

"Oh, you're awake," a voice said.

With a start, the blonde jumped up into a defensive position, protectively covering herself with the palm leaf.

"It's okay. It's just me," Marth assured as he approached her. "Here, you dropped this."

He handed her the missing top half of the bikini, which she quickly snatched from his hand.

"Go behind that rock while I change," she ordered sharply. "I'll kill you if you try to peek."

Marth obeyed, but she continuously looked back at the boulder suspiciously. "Okay, I'm done."

He emerged from the rock as the bounty hunter asked, "How long have I been out for?"

"About two hours," he answered discretely.

"Why was I half-naked?" she demanded more forcefully.

Marth put his hands up in innocence. "Blame the sea. As a gentleman, I resisted the urge to look for long and covered you with a palm leaf."

"So you did see-!" Samus started as she advanced on him menacingly.

"Hey! It was the tides! I can't help it that a half-naked woman showed up beside me when I woke up."

She glowered even harder.

"Please don't hurt me," Marth added as he caved in a little.

Samus sighed in resignation and plopped down onto the sand.

"Tell me what happened to the start."

The king took a seat beside her and began. "You were out cold in the waters so I grabbed you and swam to the closest piece of land, which turned out to be this small island. I didn't have enough strength left to get to shore, so I only hoped that the currents would push us there once they've calmed. As you can see, we were lucky. I pulled you to shore and noticed that your top half was missing-"

Samus turned cherry red as she looked away.

Marth chuckled. "Don't worry. As I said before, I acted with as much dignity as I could. Besides, you've seen _me _totally nude in the locker room. So anyways, you weren't breathing, so I had to perform CPR."

"YOU WHAT?!" she screamed.

"Geez, don't overreacted. I saved your hide. Besides, it was for medical purposes. It was amazing really; you didn't have a heartbeat for ten minutes, but you survived. I guess those alien blood transfusions can really come in handy. And from what I see, you don't have any signs of brain damage."

"Thanks, I guess," she grumbled.

"You're very welcome. Back to the story: Once I got you breathing again, I walked around to make sure that there weren't any dangerous animals on this island, then I went on a 'perilous' quest to recover your garment. When I returned with it, you were awake. Now here we are."

Samus still had trouble believing that he would do all that for her. "Wait, why were you out in the storm in the first place?"

"To save you," he replied simply as he looked intensely into her eyes. "That was very reckless of you to jump in like that. Do you know how worried was?"

Turning red again, she stood up and cleared her throat. "So, where are we, exactly?"

"One of the many islands that make up the Delfino Isles. Obviously a minor one that's uninhabited," the blunette responded as he scanned the seemingly endless ocean.

"We should find a way to get off theisland then," Samus suggested as she started for the forest. "Maybe a signal fire. The others would have organized a search party by now."

"Woah, don't be so hasty. We should make survival our first priority and worry about escape later. We need to stay alive if we want to be rescued," he pointed out as he walked beside her.

Samus stopped in her tracks and thought, _He has a good point. Why can't I think straight right now? Maybe I need to be away from him for a while._

Facing the king with a discerning gaze, she inquired, "Then where should we stay?"

"Already established a good spot. Follow me," he said and took a hold of her hand to lead her.

The blonde pulled away. "Don't touch me so familiarly!"

"What are you talking about? We've already locked lips together," he reminded playfully.

"T-that doesn't count!" she exclaimed as she reddened.

"Care for one that _does_ count?" Marth asked as he moved in.

"No!" the bounty hunter yelled as she swung a fist. Marth dodged it and chuckled as he ran out of range.

"That 'no' seems a little forced," he called back, enraging the woman. "Are you sure?"

"Get back here!" she roared as she ran after him, only to feel a sharp pain in her right leg.

Seeing her faltering, Marth rushed back to help her up. "Seems like you've hurt something when you were being tossed around by the waves. Come on, I'll try my best to fix it up."

"I can walk just fine," Samus affirmed adamantly as she tried to take a painful step. She fell to her knees with a yelp and stubbornly attempted another step.

Marth sighed and bent down in front of her. "Get on."

"You've got to be kidding me," the bounty hunter snorted.

"I'm not. Piggy-back ride or I'm not helping you," he said as he motioned to her.

Reluctantly, Samus pulled herself onto his back and tightened her grip around his shoulders. Delighted that he got his way, Marth grinned broadly as he wrapped his arms around her legs and began to walk.

"Don't you dare drop me," the blonde hissed menacingly.

"I'll never let go of you," he promised, mimicking the tone of the main character of a cheesy romance drama.

Although this was meant as a joke, Samus strangely felt more comfortable and rested her head against his, genuinely surprising the blunette. They continued their trek in a peaceful silence until they reached a clearing near the entrance to the forest. Marth gently lowered her onto a carpet of flattened palm leaves.

"This part of the forest doesn't have as many bugs and it's near the sand, so we won't burn down the whole forest when we start a fire."

"We can start a fire?" Samus asked incredulously as she sat up.

"The Delfino Isles had some volcanoes a few centuries ago, so we would find a little bit of flint. With some dry wood, it'll be easy to start a fire."

"I'll go look for the wood," the bounty hunter said as she struggled to rise to her feet.

"You're in no condition to walk around right now, Miss Macho," Marth contended as she lightly forced her down.

"I don't take orders from you, Princess," she growled back as she resisted.

"Man, you're difficult. So stubborn to help," he sighed. "Maybe that's what makes you so attractive."

"What?!" Samus protested before Marth pinched the pressure points beneath her neck, making her slip into unconsciousness.

"Hey, wake up, sleeping beauty," Marth's faint voice urged with a little shake on her shoulder.

"Do you need a kiss to break the spell?"

Bolting upright, she pushed him away for some private space.

"I found the flint but the dry wood was scarce, so we have to use them wisely," he notified and pointed to the gathered items. "We'll have about 30 minutes of fire. There were coconuts around the island, so we can use them as a source of water, food, and bowls to boil the seawater in."

"What are those?" Samus queried as she motioned to the small plants that were bundled together.

"That's for your injury. A few herbs to ease the pain and a vine to hold them against the injury. We can take care of that later; first, let's eat," he recommended and picked up two coconuts.

"Bring them here," the bounty hunter motioned.

Puzzled, the king handed her the fruits. The blonde effortlessly split the tough shell of the first coconut with a knife-hand strike.

"Whoa," Marth noted as he stared in amazement. "Such monstrous strength."

"Shut up," Samus growled as she broke the second fruit with more force than necessary.

Giving him one half of the coconut, she ravenously drank her half. She'd forgotten how parched her throat was from the seawater.

"Cut out the insides with this," Marth said and held out a sharp stone.

The bounty hunter looked dubiously at the primitive tool.

"It's sanitary, I washed it," he assured.

Taking the makeshift knife, she began to carve out the soft flesh of the fruit.

Once they finished their meal, the moon and stars were already high in the sky, shining in their full glory.

Marth went over to Samus and carried her bridal style for two feet before he let her down on the beach.

"I hate it when people carry me," the blonde grumbled darkly.

"Well, you're going to get used to it. since you're in this condition," the man guaranteed. "You know, you're a lot heavier than you look."

"Are you saying I'm fat?!" the bounty hunter snapped as she tried to hit him.

"Awww, I never thought you cared about stuff like that," Marth cooed.

"I may be a ruthless bounty hunter, but I'm still a woman!" she roared.

"Then let me play the role of your knight in shining armor for once."

"I don't _need_ a man to babysit me!" she avowed as she tried to drag him to the ground. "Especially one who's mistaken for a girl!"

That hit a nerve.

"And that come from the woman who was recognized as a man since the first Tournament!" he snapped back as he wrestled against her.

After they were both burned out, Marth got up to bring the flint and wood. Striking the volcanic rocks against each other, he grinned triumphantly as he saw the spark ignite the sticks.

"Hopefully the breeze will be merciful and kindle the flames instead of blowing them out," he murmured and turned back to his fellow Smasher. "Now that we have more visibility, we can apply the herbs now."

"I'll do it," Samus stated firmly and received the small plants. Examining them, she pondered on how to use them. From the side, Marth look on with an amused expression. Noticing his gaze, Samus claimed, "I-I'm just making sure that they're not toxic or something-"

"You don't know how to do it, do you?" Marth asked with a coy smile.

"No, I just-"

"Hand them over," he sighed with an outstretched hand. Grudgingly, the bounty hunter slapped the greens onto his open palm.

"Way too primitive for me," Samus grumbled sourly.

Moving closer, he ordered, "Lie down on your stomach."

"What?"

"Lie down," he repeated a little more sternly.

Unwillingly, she obeyed. Wondering what he was up to, she jumped a little when she felt his hand press the side of her right leg.

"Calm down. I need to know where exactly you got hurt," he explained calmly as he pressed around the area.

"A little higher," she mumbled diffidently and felt her whole body stiffen up as he moved up to her thigh.

"I can't find the injury if you tighten up like that," Marth said with a hint of annoyance.

When she calmed herself, Marth resumed his task. Samus winced as he pushed the wound and blunette swiftly looked up. "Here?"

"Yeah."

"This may hurt a little," he apologized and pushed a hand around the circumference. Being accustomed to pain, the bounty hunter was undaunted. A sharp feeling hit her when the blunette pressed a spot. He felt Samus's body tense up to the pain.

"Thought so. You tore a muscle," Marth deduced as while collected the herbs and coconut bowl. "It's nothing too severe, so you should be able to limp around by morning, since you probably have a superior healing factor to most humans."

Samus looked back to see him grinding the herbs with a round stone inside the shell until it was slightly pasty.

"Lie down properly," he commanded in his indifferent "iron-fisted ruler voice." Grumbling something to herself, the blonde complied, only to freeze up when Marth pressed both hands on her thigh.

"W-what the hell are you doing?!" she demanded.

"It's the same energy-based healing method I learned. It'll help your body to accept the curative properties of the herbs, especially since your alien immune system would try to reject foreign substances."

Samus rolled her eyes dubiously. "Is this really necessary?"

"This type of medicine might sound foreign to you, but believe me; it works if done correctly. Now please be quiet while I concentrate."

Although still not convinced, the blonde kept quiet. After some time, she felt a calming feeling flow into her leg. After holding his hands in place, Marth removed his hands and wipe the sweat off his forehead.

"I'm definitely not cut out to be a healer," he mumbled to himself, astonished that such an elementary technique for his country's healers would take such a toll on him. He applied his herb paste to Samus's injury in a circular motion, which felt unnaturally relaxing to her. After holding down the paste with a small leaf as a bandage, he tied it against her leg with the piece of vine he found.

"There, all done," he said. "But don't try to move around a lot."

"Thanks," the blonde woman stingily grumbled. She could now see the visible exhaustion on Marth's face.

"How do you know these kinds of things?" she asked carefully.

"Some knowledge comes from my military campaigns. Most of it when I had to treat my wife and son when they were afflicted by the plague."

"You're married?!"

"Widowed," he answered a bit grimly.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she said quietly. "Is your son healthy now?"

"Never even got to see his face," he replied simply as he looked away, trying to hold his feelings in check.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry," she apologized quietly, looking down. _She was pregnant when she passed away._

"No need to apologize. Keeping it inside won't chance the facts."

A short silence drifted between them. Seeing that she felt bad, the king continued the conversation.

"Back at Sirena beach, where in the world did you get the name Virginia from?" he questioned, expecting a silly reason from her.

"It's my late mother's name," Samus managed to say.

"Oh. My condolences. I lost my mother too."

"I suppose the loss of loved ones seems to be one of the only similarities between us," she laughed dourly.

"Not only that," Marth added. "Your eye, full of loneliness and pain… I've had those same eyes."

Samus recalled the confusing words from earlier. She looked at him intently to go on.

"As you may know, I was crowned emperor of Akaneia. But over the course of the wars, I lost many people who were close to me: my parents, Jegan my mentor, and many other allies. My friend, King Hardin… I killed him with my own hands when he was possessed. But of course, I was happy that peace was restored and I was married to Sheeda, but that's when the plague struck. Almost half the people of the continent were afflicted, and so was my wife. The clerics managed to create a curing spell, but it was already too late for my wife… my son," he narrated as his voice trailed off, then suddenly laughed. "I mean, why me? Why is that I have to live? A weakling who let everybody die. The worst of sinners who murdered his own friend! Why can't I just die?!"

He was utterly shocked to feel a fist smash into the side of his face.

"Don't you ever say that!" Samus roared furiously as she roughly grabbed him by the hair. "There are lots of people that care about you!"

Marth gave her a weak smile devoid of hope. "I'm a walking plague. When I defeated the dark mage Ghanerf, do you know what happened? He casted a curse on me, the most powerful of its kind. He said that I'll watch everyone around me die, while I live on, powerless to save them."

"Well, you saved me didn't you?!" the bounty hunter snapped.

"Doesn't matter. I shouldn't get too close to people anyways. As long as I bond with others, they'll die. Don't you remember the simulator accident that almost got Link killed? I can't say that the sudden storm wasn't a coincidence either. You almost _died_ because of me! You can't cheat death."

"I already have," the bounty hunter confessed bitterly. "At the cost of my mother."

Marth was taken aback. "What do you-"

"When I was 3, Ridley and his Space Pirates raided my colony. Everybody died, except me, only because my mother gave up her life for me. The Chozo aliens took me in and trained me so that I could one day get my revenge. I joined the GF Police Force when I was 14 and moved on to the GF Army. I never fully trusted many of the other soldiers. A few of them even tried times to…" Her voice trailed off as she pulled her legs closer to herself.

"Were you-?" Marth cut himself off when he realized, _That's why she's always so careful about showing skin._ "Sorry. I should've never asked."

Samus gave him a forced scoff. "Give me some credit. They didn't stand a chance, and people like Anthony and Adam frightened most of them off."

"Who?"

"Close friends. They always had my back in any situation."

"It must be nice to have friends that are always there for you," he commented with a sad smile and stared skyward. "Being a king equals solitude for life; one sun to rule the skies, one king to rule a nation. Even though friends and subjects are swarming around me, there's always an invisible wall that separates me. The Smash Mansion is really a heaven that I'd never have imagined."

"I think I know that feeling," the bounty hunter said quietly as she also gazed at the sea of stars.

The king turned to her with an eyebrow raised in skepticism.

"W-well not exactly how you feel, but something similar," she clarified quickly. "Of course the status of a king and a bounty hunter are total opposites-"

Marth moved in closer, intruding Samus's comfort zone. "Then perhaps we also share similar feelings about each other."

"Waayyyyy too close!" she yelped as she headbutted him.

The blunette fell back with an exclamation of pain. "Aughhh! My face, my beautiful face!"

"Umm… sorry?" she apologized.

"Surry?! I tink you broke ma nose! Ow! You can kick me in the guts or punch me in the kidney; do whatever, but _never_ hit my face! How can I go out in public like this?"

This made Samus angry. "Your nose is fine! And why'd you have to get all narcissistic again!" she snapped back. Tugging her hair she continued, "And you just _had _to ruin the mood! I was just starting to like you!"

"Me? You're the one who headbutted me! And I was just starting to like you! Well, other than the fact that you have more curves than the mountain ranges back home…"

"PISS OFF YOU DAMN PERVERT!" Samus roared and threw rocks at the speed of arrows.

"Roy can attest to that!" Marth defended as he escaped at full speed.

An hour later, Marth tiptoed back to the campsite to see the bounty hunter sleeping peacefully in her makeshift bed. His expression of adoration quickly waned as he found out that she snores more obnoxiously than his red-haired friend.

_Only if I had my smartphone, _he thought to himself. He noticed that Samus had pulled the giant leaf- blanket up too much, leaving her feet exposed to the night air. Sighing, he adjusted the cover to shield her whole body and turned back to slip into his own crude bed.

"Hey."

He turned back to see Samus getting up from her sleeping position.

"Were you awake this whole time?"

"Woke up when you moved the leaf," she answered a little light-headedly. "I'm a light sleeper."

"Your snoring says otherwise," the king muttered.

"What?" she asked in a drowsy voice.

"Nothing," he said quickly, not wanting to get into another confrontation.

After eyeing him for a few seconds, she dismissed the matter and patted the space beside her. "Come here."

Marth had difficulty processing the information. "Wait… what?"

"You heard me; come here," she motioned.

Anticipating a trap, he gingerly walked over to her side and sat down.

"Penguins share each other's body heat to survive cold winters," Samus explained.

"You mean those weird birds that always walk around like they've been hit in the nether-regions?" he asked confusedly.

The blonde let out a laugh of disbelief. "Yes, those birds. I'm only doing this for survival purposes, so don't you try anything."

As happy as a boy who's been awarded candy, Marth snuggled his side against her. "Promise."

"I might have to headbutt you again."

"You're the older one here," the monarch pointed out. You should know that violence doesn't solve anything."

"I've solved plenty with my fist," she slightly growled, still in a tired voice.

"I run a continent. Shouldn't I know a thing or two about conflict resolution," he grinned cheekily.

"Touché," Samus smirked and lifted Marth chin with her right hand. "Well, since I'm your senior, shouldn't you be obeying me?"

"Then what _do_ you want me to do?" the blunette asked slyly as he moved in closer to her, deciding to playing along with whatever game she had in mind.

"Give me your body," she whispered into his ear.

Blinking twice, Marth asked, "Excuse me?"

"You know damn well what I said," the bounty hunter growled softly as she started to sensually rub his chest. "I want you to be my first."

"Samus, I don't think that you're thinking straight right now," Marth protested as he tried to gently push her away. He could now see that her eyes were getting glassy. _What the hell happened to her? C'mon Marth, think. There should be something around here that…_

While keeping Samus at bay, he frantically looked around for a clue. The condensing smoke from the fire caught his eye.

_The fire? Wait, the wood that's being burnt is causing this!_

The blunette scrambled over to the campfire and deeply inhaled the fumes. He could feel his brain chemistry going wild for a few seconds before regaining his senses. _Soon this thing's going to get to me!_

"What's wrong, big boy?" Samus droned euphorically while trying to pull him back in her intoxicated state. "I thought you had some experience in this."

Desperately throwing sand onto the flames, Marth finally extinguished the fire. He let out a sigh of relief but had no time to rejoice as the bounty hunter pinned him down with all her strength and puckered her lips.

"C'mon hun. Don't be shy," she cooed.

"Snap out of it!" the king demanded as he used all his strength to get to feet and lift the inebriated woman into a fireman's carry and stumbled to the seashore. As his grip loosened, Samus kneed him in the side, expertly (but still under the influence) swung her legs around to wrap around his hips, and firmly pressed her lips against his. Under her weight and sudden shock, Marth fell over into the water. Disregarding the tumble, she prolonged the kiss until a large wave hit them, shocking Samus with an icy cold torrent. Snapping out of her intoxicated state, the bounty hunter jumped back from Marth's prone position.

"Ummm, Marth?" she began.

The king continued to bob up and down in the water, eyes rolled back. She gingerly flipped his loose body over to see a large red spot in the back of his head and a rock painted with the same coloration.

"Shit."

"So… the wood gave off toxic fumes?" Samus asked cautiously.

"YES! How many times do I have to say it?" Marth exclaimed as he inspected his injury with both hands. "What if this leaves a mark?" he wondered worriedly to himself.

"Am I clear now?" she asked with some apprehension.

"You didn't seem to be affected too much," he said quickly. "Thank the Gods. Only the Heavens know what you might have done."

""How exactly did I act?" the blonde asked the question as carefully as the first.

"I told you! You were hornier than a rabbit during mating season!"

Samus looked down in embarrassment.

"Now I might have permanent brain injury, not to mention a scar!"

The bounty hunter suddenly felt her anger rising. "Hey! What are you yelling at me for? I could have left you there for the waves to drag you in!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"What makes you think I wouldn't have?"

Marth tried to think of a reason but no avail. "Good question."

"And you're the one who brought the firewood!"

"There are hundreds of unidentified species in the Delfino Isles! And you're one of the universe's greatest bounty hunter! You would have smelled something fishy about the smoke!"

"Ok, so I was a little tired from this crazy day! You're the one who ran off for a few hours!"

"This is going nowhere," Marth laughed in disbelief. "You know what forget it. It's all my fault that this happened, okay?"

"No! You're just saying that to take the easy way out! You're going to listen to me until you admit **why** this is your fault!"

"Well _someone_ has to be the adult and take the blame."

"Are you saying that I'm not an adult? You're the one who's younger here!"

"Age has nothing to do with maturity!"

"Listen here, young man-!"

"Oh, please. You're starting to sound like a mother hen!"

"I am not!" she stated defiantly.

"You are too!"

After glaring at each other for a good amount of time, the two turned away and laid down on the palm leaf mattress. The night went by quietly, the silence to be filled only by the wind. Shivering from the breeze, Marth rotated his head to face Samus. Making sure that she was asleep, he cautiously pushed himself against her.

"What are you doing?" the woman demanded, not moving from her position.

"I thought you were asleep," the blunette admitted with a little embarrassment.

"I was, until I felt a frozen lump of a body rub up against me."

"Well, I was a little cold, so I thought I could steal a bit of your heat. I wasn't thinking of doing anything-"

The blonde wrapped her hand around his and frowned. "Geez, you're like a corpse."

"And you're like a human heater," Marth returned with a little smile.

Samus beckoned to him. "Come here. I'll warm you up."

Marth pushed himself to her gradually, inch by inch. _Is this a trap?_ _Is she going to strangle me with that monstrous strength?_

As he drew close, the bounty hunter comfortingly pulled him in and draped one leg over him.

"Thanks for everything you did… today," she murmured.

"N-no problem," Marth stuttered. _I'minheaven I'minheaven I'mheaven._

"I know I might have been pretty hard on you, so let me make it up to you."

Marth reluctantly pulled away, just enough to place a small peck on her lips. "You're temperamental, stubborn and probably strong enough to wrestle a bear… but you're still the most amazing woman I've ever met," he confessed.

Samus only stared at him with a stunned expression. Taking his chances, the blunette slowly drew his lips closer to hers.

Snapping out of her trance, she gave him a hard punch in the stomach and turned away to hide her flushed face.

"What was that for?" he demanded as he groaned over his injury.

"That skinship wasn't called for either, you sex fiend!" she snapped behind her back as she shrunk away even further.

"You actually _hurt_ me," he complained while tenderly rubbing his stomach. "I think you actually bruised me."

"Yeah right. I didn't even hit you _that_ hard."

"I'm serious! Look," he exclaimed and stuck his large bluish injury out at her.

Samus made an "o" shape with her mouth when she realized that he was indeed telling the truth. "Sorry."

"Is that it?" Marth whined like a child. "Aren't you going to make it up to me?"

With a sigh, she asked, "What can I do?"

"Give me a kiss," he demanded playfully with a triumphant grin.

"What?" the bounty hunter uttered dumbfounded. "No way!"

"I'm not even asking for a lot," Marth insisted as he pouted his lips. "Even a peck on the cheek will do."

"Alright, just a quick peck," she submitted hesitantly. "On the cheek."

Grinning even wider, he turned his right cheek to her anxiously. Samus cautiously leaned inches away from his awaiting cheek, unsure if she should follow through. Before she could decide, Marth shiftily gave her a brief kiss on her lips. She sat there motionless, as if struck by lightning. Enjoying her expression, he slumped down sideways on the palm leaves and happily said, "I feel better already. I think I can sleep now. Goodnight."

"You dick! That wasn't fair at all!" the blonde screeched as she pounded his back with her fists.

"Ow, ow. You'll end up giving me a constellation of bruises," he commented teasingly.

"You totally took advantage of the situation, you bastard! You had no permission to do that."

"You never said that you didn't like it," he remarked slyly as he look back at her.

"I didn't like it at all!" she affirmed angrily.

"Then how about this?" he challenged and pulled her into long kiss, putting his deepest desire and feelings into it. He released the oral embrace once he needed air and seemed surprised himself.

"That… was my first kiss," Samus said softly.

"S-sorry. I don't know what came over me," he apologized sheepishly. "I didn't mean to go that far, honestly. I guess I did it without thinking. Umm, maybe…"

"It… was sort of nice," she confessed as she looked up at him with a small smile.

Marth stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say.

"Let's go for round two," she suggested and pulled him in from the back of his head into a passionate kiss. This time, her tongue entered his mouth until she found his palate. Pushing him down gently, she rubbed her hand along his torso. As a response, Marth sensually stoked her hips, increasing her body temperature. Getting even more into their lovemaking, Samus began to untie the top half of her bikini. Firmly grabbing her hand, he stopped her from going any further. She opened her eyes and looked at him with a crestfallen expression.

"What's wrong?" she questioned while panting heavily.

"Not tonight," the blunette replied between deep breaths. "I've already asked a lot from you."

"I _want_ to go through with this," she asserted defiantly. "I… I love you."

Marth had never felt so warm inside in a long time, when his wife was still alive. He truly felt alive. He smiled at her softly and caressed her face. "I love you too. Which is why I don't want to go any further with you tonight. The smoke from earlier might still be affecting you. I wouldn't want to take advantage of that."

"I feel fine. Is it that you don't want me?"

"Don't be ridiculous. A man's got to be crazy for not wanting you. I just don't want you to do something that you might regret later."

"I know I won't," the bounty hunter avowed as she started to kiss his neck. "Let's do it now, when we're far away from the other Smashers, the press. Away from the world."

Marth gently lifted her head to meet her eyes. "Samus, please. Let's hold it off for another time."

Looking dejected, she finally answered, "Alright. But you can't deny me the next time."

"I swear."

Samus crawled off his body and curled into a sleeping position against him. "This is the first time that I've been so close to a man."

"And this is the first time that I've been so close to a goddess," he countered with a grin.

She broke into a smile and playfully slapped his arm. "Stop it."

"You really are. I can travel the whole universe and never find a woman better than you."

After a long silence, she asked. "Why me?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, there must be thousands of pretty girls from good families drooling at your feet. I'm just a bounty hunter. I've only been trained to kill, hunt, survive."

"Those are the reasons why I want you," he answered with a gentle smile. "Those other girls live their sheltered lives, clueless to the dangers of the world. But you, you know the world. You know pain. You know loneliness. Which is why you want to protect others from suffering. Even when it hurts, you don't complain. You can sympathize with others because you know how much it hurts. You have the strong qualities of both a fighter and a motherly nature. Oh, and the curves give you bonus points."

"Good job for ruining the moment, buzzkill," the bounty hunter retorted with a humorous scoff.

"I try."

"Let me tell _you_ something. From first impressions of you, I thought: 'How does a guy have so many beauty products? There's something definitely wrong with his head.'"

"Hey, do you think it's easy to look this good?" he countered as he vainly stroked his face.

"You always have something smart to say, don't you?"

"I have my way with words. However, I have to work for my looks, but you can probably come out of a galactic war and still look like a goddess."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she grumbled.

"I know this will," Marth returned and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Let's call it for the night, okay?"

"This conversation isn't over yet," she warned but snuggled up against him and closed her eyes into a deep sleep.

"Sleep well, my queen."

Ugh. This is the corniest chapter yet! I have other chapters written, I just have to proofread them. Stay updated with Gender Confusions!


	7. Chapter 7

"Listen up ladies! This is a search and destroy- I mean search and rescue mission," Snake announced. "Scout the area and shoot anything that moves- I mean, follow any trail you find and alert the rest of the team."

"What's wrong with him?" Falco whispered to Wolf.

"Probably had too much to drink at the club last night," the canine shrugged. "I still got a bit of a hangover meself."

"I've sent you coordinates of their probable location. They may be injured, so contact me as soon as you find them. Don't wander off too far, and don't take any risks. Now move out!" the mercenary finished and jogged to his helicopter. Yoshi, who was assigned to track the missing Smashers' scent, followed. Soon, the rotor started to pick up speed and the vehicle lifted off.

"Prince Marth! As a comrade in arms, I shall vanquish any coconuts that have attacked you in my absence!" Captain Falcon exclaimed zealously as he started the engine of his Falcon Flyer. "And my one and only Samus, wait patiently for me! Your true love is coming to your rescue! Our love for each other is so boundless that not even the heavens can separate us forever! May your longing heart draw me close like a stag to a stream! For Asgard!" With that, he launched his flyer at its maximum speed.

_He should have become a Shakespearean actor instead of a racer_, Olimar thought to himself and lifted off on his dingy ship.

Fox and Falco hopped into their Arwings as Wolf turned on the radar of his Wolfen. Kirby shot off on his Warpstar as Bowser flew after him in his Clowncar. Pit, Metaknight, and Charizard/Satoshi took flight as Diddy Kong's Jetpack roared to life.

"Y'all ain't got nuttin' on my ride!" King Dedede gloated through a megaphone. His enormous luxury commercial jet loomed over the sky as it carefully soared at a safe distance from the others.

"The hell are you doing? Faster!" he ordered the Waddle-Dee in the cockpit.

"Your highness, I do not believe that this is a race," he answered timidly.

"Well now it is then!" the penguin returned matter-of-factly. "This is a royal decree!"

"Y-yes, sir," he consented and increased the velocity in small increments.

"You're useless! Move it!" the monarch snapped and shoved the main pilot out of his seat and took controls. "Fast n' furious, baby!"

"But sir! The plane could hit the other Smashers!"

"I don't care! They always do this in Mario Kart, don't they?"

Below them, Snake's helicopter started to hover unstably. "What the blazes is this?" the man snapped in annoyance.

"It's King Dedede's plane! It's so big that it's blocking the wind currents we need for elevation! And it's getting dangerously close!" the Toad piloting the aircraft gasped. "At this rate, we're either going to drop like stones or be knocked out of the air by that plane!"

"F****** fatass," Snake grumbled and flicked away his remaining cigarette to see to the controls. The ashes from the cancer stick flew back and landed in his eyes, making the Foxhound agent yell out in pain and stumble out of the helicopter. Yoshi deftly ran to the open side and snagged the falling man with his tongue. He reeled in Snake, who was seething in agony and cursing without pause. Once he was able to open his now bloodshot eyes, the mercenary pulled out a bazooka and took careful aim at the looming jumbojet. "It's showtime!" he said deviously and fired at will. "Mother. F******. Fatass. Penguin," he growled in between shots. The barrage of rockets slammed into the rotor of the plane, making it slowly plummet downwards.

"Oi! Waddle-Dees! Fire back at that bastard!" Dedede bellowed furiously. "Where're the machine guns? The missiles?"

"Sir, this is a commercial airliner. It doesn't have any weapons."

"And I paid good money for this shit?! I'm gonna have a word with that company!"

"Your highness! We _must_ abandon ship now!" the servant screamed as he and his co-pilot dashed to grab parachutes and dove out.

"What about me, you little shits?!" he bawled after them, seeing that there were no parachutes left. He remembered that he could fly for a limited time like Kirby, and artlessly sucked in a breath of air and hopped out of the burning aircraft. _Mimicking Kirby's technique really paid off_, he cackled to himself. Just then, the Warpstar knocked him right out of the air. "KIIIIIRRRRRBBBBYYYY~!" he hollered.

"Delta squad, report," Snake barked into the walkie-talkie.

"Nothing," Olimar answered hopelessly.

"My love, where are you?!" Captain Falcon wailed in despair as he dashed around the island at great speeds for the fourth time.

Ignoring him, Snake continued. "Beta squad, report."

"Arwing's picking up nothing," Fox replied from his jet.

"Hey, Snake! I think Yoshi found something," Satoshi called. The dinosaur was now furiously digging through the sand. Under the sand was a hair band.

"Isn't this Samus' hair band?" Pit said as he picked it up.

"Good. That means that they're nearby," the mercenary smirked. "Well done, dinosaur. I might not eat you after all."

Yoshi scowled at Snake but puffed his chest out in pride.

"Alright team, spread out and search," Snake ordered before pulling out hi walkie-talkie. "We got a trail. Rendez-vous to island A."

Alpha squad split up and went separate directions. Pit flew off to the other end of the island and landed into the jungle. He aimlessly wandered around until reached a clearly and couldn't believe what he saw.

* * *

Several rays of light broke through the umbrage of the trees and hit Marth's eyes. Groaning, he squirmed around in tiredness before realizing that a foreign pair of arms was around him. He looked down and saw a lump of yellow hair on his chest. The form stirred and also let out a groan of laziness. He tried to slowly rise but his lover suppressed him with a strong arm.

"We should get up now."

"Just a few more minutes," Samus moaned, hardly moving from her position.

"Get up Samus! Metroids!"

"Metroids?" Samus gasped as she bolted upright. "Where?"

Marth laughed heartily at her reaction. Realizing that she was deceived, the bounty hunter playfully tackled the king.

"That's not funny."

"It was the only way to wake you up," he shrugged.

"Never do that again," she warned.

"What? You're not going to punch me? I suppose this is what they call 'taming of the shrew.'"

"I wouldn't count on that," Samus smirked and lightly punched him in the stomach.

"Oof. Stop it!"

Samus then began to tickle him mercilessly, making Marth laugh nonstop.

"Ha ha. H-hey stop it! I'll start fighting back!" he warned in between laughter as he tried to push her away. "You'll, haha, regret this!"

"We'll see about that," the blonde growled sensually and tried to pin him to the ground. They wrestled playfully for a short time, which resulted with Marth on his back and Samus on top. They both panted, exhausted but exhilarated at the same time.

"W-what is going on here?" a new voiced uttered.

The two turned to see a winged boy in a toga. His face was red as a tomato, eyes on the verge of popping out of its sockets, his mouth twitching uncontrollably. His muscles were frozen like an ice sculpture, except for the momentary spasms.

"Pit?!" they exclaimed.

The angel dropped to the ground, unconscious. They rushed over to him to see if he was hurt.

"Hey, Pit! Are you okay?"

"Bring him some water."

Marth quickly brought a shell full of water and put it to the boy's lips. Once Pit was awake, the couple was afraid of what he'd say.

"Pit, what you've seen, it's not-," Samus began.

"I saw nothing," Pit said quickly.

"So you won't tell anyone?" Marth asked hopefully.

"I saw nothing," he repeated, avoiding eye contact. "We should meet up with the others."

"The other guys came looking for us?" the bounty hunter exclaimed excitedly.

"Yes," Pit answered absentmindedly.

He rose and led them out of the forestry to the shore. He pulled out a flare gun from his toga and shot it into the air. Soon, the rest of the Samshers arrived to the scene, sharing words of relief and inspecting the couple's health. Marth caught some of them staring at Samus as if hypnotized. Annoyed, he stood in front of their field of vision and yelled, "Hey! Give her some privacy."

"What are you talking about?" Falco denied, turning away.

Feeling exposed, Samus yanked of Metaknight's cape to cover herself. "Sorry. I'll borrow this for the time being."

"Although I hate the idea of parting with my cape, as a gentleman, I shall comply," the puffball said with a slight bow.

"Buzzkill," Snake muttered. "Alright, ladies! We're taking off! Mission accomplished."

"Samus! You may ride in my Falcon Flyer," Captain Falcon offered eagerly as they walked to their vehicles.

"The chopper will do," she replied.

"I agree with Samus," Marth added. "I'll go with her."

The rest of the Smashers exchanged looks and turned back to them.

"Did something happen between you two?" Wolf questioned slyly.

"Do not speak of such thoughts," the F-Zero racer rejected adamantly.

"Of course not!" Samus answered vehemently.

"We just became a lot friendlier because we had to rely on each other to survive," Marth adjoined coolly. "We're good friends now."

"Just 'friends,' eh?" Fox snickered. "Here're a few words of wisdom: A man and a woman can't remain just friends forever."

"Oh, ho, ho, ho. Unless they're 'friends with benefits,'" Diddy Kong chortled in a gentleman-way, stroking a newly grown mustache.

"Fuh, fuh fuh, fuh. Yes indeed," Fox responded, suddenly wearing a top hat.

"Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. You sly dog."

"Fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh. Oh, you savage ape."

"**Nothing** happened!" Samus roared and smashed their skulls together, knocking them out.

"I'll take the Arwing," Metaknight offered.

"This is the hard part," Snake informed. "We have to get you inside without those damn media flies buzzing around."

Now fully clothed, Samus and Marth looked at each other uneasily.

"They'll make up anything to get publicity, so we can't let them come near you. We can't let a scandal happen now. Not with the fanmeeting and banquet coming up today," Snake continued. "You guys will take the teleporter in the abandoned hanger to ensure secrecy. The rest of us will take the van to try to draw away the paparazzi. Got that?"

They nodded gravely.

"Good. Let's roll," Snake said as they landed.

* * *

"Careful," Wolf warned. "We don't want to get too much attention."

"I got this, old man," Falco replied.

"It's bad enough that Snake took down an airliner at the gulf, we don't need any more stupid stunts," the Starwolf commander rebuked sternly.

"We should have asked Skippy for some camouflage upgrade," Fox sighed.

"This hangar is at the outskirts of this city, so we should be fine," Satoshi assured. "Besides, nobody comes to this place anymore."

"The chopper already landed on the roof. They should be going inside now," Metaknight mused.

"You fools! It's a trap!" Bowser roared as he ran to them from his Clown Car.

"What are you talking about?" Fox asked, perplexed by the Koopa King's outburst.

"Yeah, how would you know?" Diddy Kong demanded.

"_I've _been setting up traps for Mario since the beginning of his career!" the giant turtle snapped angrily. "My gut feeling's telling me that it's definitely a trap."

"We need backup, now!" Snake's voice resounded from the walkie-talkies. "There's too many of them-!"

"Everyone, inside!" Fox ordered.

The Smashers broke through the locked door and saw an infestation of cameramen, reporters, photographers, and journalists. From the crowd, they spied three figures trying to push through the crowd.

"Outta the way!" Snake barked as he shoved a photographer from his path.

"We'll be taking any questions later," Marth said half apologetically.

Surprisingly, Samus was the only one who didn't act aggressively, for she felt that all the prying eyes were on her.

"Damn, only if we had Mario's F.L.U.D. or Zelda's magic," Bowser growled. "I'll knock 'em out of the way."

"I agree! Samus, I'm coming!" Captain Flacon bellowed as his fist flickered with flames.

"No! You might actually hurt them," Wolf protested. "I'd like to pummel the rabble, but we can't hurt civilians, especially at this time."

"Kirby, you can transform into Tornado Kirby and blow a path for them," Metaknight suggested.

"Poyo!" Kirby said resolutely and jumped into the fray and sucked in a large amount of air, changing into Tornado Kirby.

"Charizard, use gust!" Satoshi commanded and threw out a Pokeball.

The puffball and Pokémon release a strong wind that cleared a temporary path.

"Thanks," Marth said with a grateful smile and dashed towards the teleporter with Samus. The mob was starting to recover and started to swarm them again. The two jumped as high and far as they can in hopes of reaching the platform. Despite their supernatural abilities, they were still many feet away when they started to fall. Charizard and Metaknight swooped down and caught the two and dropped them off at the machine. The media began to climb up to the teleporter, but the two Smashers already disappeared in a flash of light.

"Time for everyone to get a little shut eye," Snake said smugly as he pulled on a respirator and tossed multiple sleep gas bombs in all directions of the hangar, making everyone, except him, fall into a deep sleep.

"Snake, you bastard," Falco grumbled before he fell victim to the gas.

Back at the hotel, Samus and Marth were surrounded by a cluster of relieved Smashers.

"Dude, I thought you were dead," Link exhaled and pulled him into a strong embrace.

"It's good to see you alive," Ike said and pulled both of the men into a crushing bear hug.

"Sammy, we were so worried!" Peach cried out with tears in her eyes as she threw her arms around the bounty hunter.

"I'm so glad that you're okay," Zelda sniffled and also hugged her.

"Alright, kids. Let them breathe," Master Hand commanded after seeing that they finished exchanging greetings. "Samus. Marth. Welcome back. It's a miracle that both of you are unhurt. However, I want you two to get a physical from Dr. Mario before returning to your rooms."

"We're fine," Samus argued. "If we caught something on the island, we would have known by now."

"Just basic protocols," Master Hand droned and spread his hand out, encompassing the two in blue energy. In a flash, they were sitting on hospital beds in the infirmary of the Smash Mansion.

"Hate it when he does that," Samus grumbled.

"Why-a, hello," Dr. Mario greeted warmly. "I've been-a expecting you two. Just-a make yourselves-a comfortable and I'll-a soon get tests for-a viruses, bacteria, parasites, poisons and pregnancy."

"Pregnancy?!" Marth and Samus exclaimed at the same time.

"You-a never know," the doctor shrugged with a hint of amusement. "I'll be-a with you shortly."

Once he left the room, Marth rested his head on the pillow and let out a deep sigh. "This really might turn into a full-fledged scandal. The damn media's going to bother us to no end."

"What will we say if we're asked about asked about our relationship?" the bounty hunter asked with repressed anxiousness.

"For now, just keep quiet about this," the blunette replied after calculating all the possibilities.

"Why?" she demanded.

"It's… not good in terms of public image," Marth reasoned. "Think about what people might say. "

"So it's not good for _you_ that people think that you're sleeping around with _me_?" Samus scoffed. "I guess this godly king is too prestigious for some lowly bounty hunter."

Marth started to get annoyed and snapped, "It's not like that! Samus, you have to think about the bigger picture. Two years ago, when Roy and Peach's relationship went public, his neighboring kingdom said that that it was a political and militaristic alliance and used it as an excuse to wage war. That's the very reason why Roy wasn't able to participate in the Brawl tournament."

"So what? We're from totally different worlds. You're from a world of magic and I'm from a world of technology."

"That can make it even worse. My continent is united by a thread and could fall apart from any conflict. It might sound ridiculous, but my enemies can claim that I am introducing foreign weapons for the means of oppression. We need more time to think about this."

"Fine," Samus huffed and turned away.

"Please understand. On top of that, some of the influential nobles of my court won't like the idea that I'm with someone who's not of noble blood."

"You're an **emperor**! Can't you keep your own subjects in check? Can't you tell them to mind their own business?"

"Every move I make can be used against me!" Marth shouted, frustrated. "What the hell do you know?! You don't know anything! Can't you be a little less selfish?! Gods, why did we even start this relationship?!"

She stared, flabbergasted, trying to form words with her numb mouth.

"Samus-," he started, regretting his words.

"Consider this relationship over!" Samus snapped and briskly walked to the door.

Dr. Mario rushed into the room with a worried expression. "Is-a everything alright?" I-a heard some yelling and-a screaming."

"Let me take the tests in another room," Samus muttered darkly. "I'm not 'worthy' to be in the same room as him."

"Samus, please…" Marth begged as he got up.

The blonde had already stormed out of the room.

"I'll-a be with you-a shortly," the doctor assured and followed Samus.

Seething, Samus waited impatiently as Dr. Mario drew blood into a needle.

"Would you-a like some advice?"

"What advice? I'm done with him," she barked.

"If-a you don't want advice, allow-a me to give you-a some facts: people with-a power, they are-a burdened with-a responsibilities that you and-a I can't understand. Princess Peach goes-a through the same things, except-a poor Toad now-a deals with it. Think about-a it."

Taking what he said to mind, Samus contemplated the possibility.

* * *

Marth requested his roommates to leave the hotel room and was now setting up a large mirror on the wall. Once in place, he poured Warp Powder evenly into cup-like extensions on the sides of the mirror. The reflection on the glass rippled and transformed into the image of dozens of stern-looking nobles sitting along a long table.

"We sincerely thank you for gracing us with your presence, Emperor Marth," one said with a bow. "I trust that you are alone."

"Greeting, loyal subjects. And yes, I made sure that we are not to be disturbed." Little did he know that a certain bounty hunter peered down at the scene from the vent in the corner of the room. She had heard from Link that Marth kicked him and Ike out of the room for unknown reasons. Discretely, she decided to investigate.

"Now, down to business," the king said as he pulled a chair up for himself. "What is so dire that you gentlemen requested a council with such short notice?"

"That wench you are fornicating with," a man garbed in dark purple spat in disgust.

Samus wanted to punch him in the face, but restrained herself, knowing that they were mere projections.

"Peace, Lord Tyran," Marth cut in calmly. "Let us not jump to conclusions. You have yet to clarify the reason for this gathering."

"Please Excuse him, your majesty," the first man apologized with a bow. "What Lord Tyran meant was that there was a rumor of intimacy between your majesty and a fellow 'Smasher.' A certain bounty hunter…"

"She is known as Samus Aran," he replied with a hint of annoyance.

"Ah, yes. Regardless, this has caused uneasiness amongst your subjects. The mere idea that your majesty is associated with such a character, let alone in an intimate way-"

"He means that the sovereign of our lands must not be with a bounty hunter, a killer-for-hire, especially in such a way the tabloids describe it as," a google-eyed elder sputtered. "It's absolutely scandalous and outrageous. Out of the question. It may even be enough to divide this very court!"

Many of the council members murmured and nodded in agreement.

"I assure, you, Lord Arn, that she is of respectable character," Marth almost growled. "Many others can attest to that.

_Is he defending me?_ Samus thought.

"We were deeply distressed when we heard of your disappearance, but to be seduced by some lowlife whore," a robust noble in burgundy garbs breathed. "Something _must_ be done about her."

"Lord Kaien! Hold thy tongue!" Marth roared as he slammed the armrest of his chair and shot up from his chair, making the nobles and Samus flinch. Once he gained his composure, he warned, "If you mean to bring harm to a comrade of mine, then I would be _very_ worried about your place in the court."

"Your majesty, I only mean to secure your place as the emperor of Akeneia," Lord Kaien reasoned pleadingly. "This scandal _is_ dividing this court. If it were a Smasher such as Princess Peach or Princess Zelda, the situation would have been easier to manage. If the rumors hold true, I beseech you to end this madness."

"Emperor Marth, do you wish to sully the royal bloodline with the blood of a foreigner?" Lord Arn interrogated, studying like a dissected creature. "Do you mock your family's heritage?"

"I do not," Marth answered firmly.

"So, do the rumors hold true?" Lord Tyran asked impatiently. The council and Samus waited eagerly for his answer.

Unwavering, he answered, "They are mere hearsays fabricated by the media. She is not my lover or anything of the sort."

Samus' heart sank as she hard fought to hold back tears. The nobles leaned back into their chairs in relief.

"It shall be publicized that the rumor was all pretense. It has inflicted enough damage," he swallowed.

"Then the matter is settled," Lord Arn declared contentedly in almost a shrill voice. "The council is dismissed."

The nobles bowed deeply as they exited the meeting hall. Lord Belarus came close to the "screen" and whispered, "Your majesty, I can see that youo are much distressed. If it is female companionship that you seek, we shall prepare all the beauties of the land. Might I add that it is also time that you take a new queen?"

"Kirin, I shall do so when I am ready."

"Your majesty, the time for mourning is over," he urged. "I fear for your position as emperor. Also, I beseech you to keep your distance from the bounty hunter for now. I say this not only as a loyal subject, but as a friend. It will be better for you… and for her."

With a bow, he left. Only a moody Lord Tyran remained, who strolled towards the mirror's vision.

"With all due respect, 'your majesty,'" he snarled. "I am unrivaled when it comes to detecting liars, and your majesty is the best one yet."

"Lord Tyran, your accusations are condemnable by death," Marth warned coldly.

"I don't give a rat's ass of what you do to me," he hissed savagely. "But I will not let **my people** be oppressed by some human ever again. Especially by a human that can't keep his cock in his pants."

"Lord Tyran! Have you not heard my confession to the court? The matter is closed."

The dragon sneered. "I'm not so gullible or blindly-loyal like those decrepit dogs. As a fair warning, I shall tell you that I am not your only enemy in the court. Either choose this pathetically united empire, or your filthy whore."

The mirror rippled back into its normal state, leaving Marth to stare into a pair of deathly-cold eyes. With a heavy heart, Samus crawled through the vents towards the exit.


	8. Chapter 8

"Come on, Samus!" Peach whined. "Just try this on."

Wordlessly, the bounty hunter walked into the changing room.

"And don't forget the hair pin. I've already styled your hair for you, so all you have to do is push your hair up and clip it, okay? Sammy? What's up with her?' the princess wondered. "She's always against this kind of stuff."

Inside the confines of the small room, Samus emotionlessly stared at her reflection. _What did they call me again?_

_Wench, whore._ Those words swam through her mind. _Hmph, I guess I am, for so easily giving my heart and body to him, thinking that he'd actually give up anything for me_.

But she also remembered what the dragon-race last said to Marth. He called him a liar.

_What if he's right? _She wondered. _What if Marth just said all that to keep the situation under control?_

When she looked up to see her dejected expression again, she thought, _No. No more false hopes. Bounty hunters live for the mission. Forget him._

"Come on, Samus!" Peach wailed while banging on the door. "I have to try, like, ten other dresses!"

The door slowly opened and the bounty hunter stepped out, wearing a sleeveless, black, slit dress that modestly revealed of her chest and one long leg. A single hairpin held up her hair into a loose chignon, letting the strands at the side and the back to fall.

"Oh. My. God. Sammy, you look amazing in that!" Peach squealed in excitement. "It really gives the feeling of feminine sexuality without being slutty. Wait 'til we get you some makeup!"

"…."

"I knew that I've always had a knack for fashion."

"…."

"Sammy, are you okay?" Peach asked timidly.

"….Can I change back now?"

"Umm, yeah. Sure."

Samus mechanically returned to the changing room.

_It's like she's changed back to the Samus that I first met_, the princess thought to herself worriedly, remembering to cold and callous old-version of her.

Looking at Peach or any of the other princesses stirred up feelings of uncontrollable jealousy in Samus. If she had stayed near Peach for any longer, she would have surely screamed. "It's not fair," she whispered to herself.

* * *

"How? Just how did they know about the hangar?" Snake growled in frustration. "We even announced that the rescue mission was the day after. Unless, someone tipped them off!"

"A traitor is the cause of this? I've heard from Peach that Samus is acting gloomy today. Whoever this villain may be, I shall punish him for scarring my beloved's heart so deeply!" Captain Falcon declared

"Who knew about this except for the Smashers?" Fox said.

"It was Wario," Snake stated unquestionably. "Bowser and King Dedede are already loaded and Ganondorf has no use for money."

"That's still not enough proof," Metaknight pointed out.

"Then we'll find more," the mercenary growled. "Wario's out right now, so we've got a change to bust into his room. Team A, monitor the perimeter of the hotel, Team B will search Wario's room!"

Metknight and Pit flew to the rood of the hotel to spy from above while Fox, Falco, Diddy Kong, Kirby, and Captain Falcon strolled through the halls. Snake snuck through the vents and Olimar deployed his Pikmin to discreetly search through Wario's room.

"Wario returning to Sunshine Hotel, over," Metaknight informed.

"I shall handle him," Captain Falcon said seriously.

The biker was walking back to his room in an unnaturally good mood when Captain Falcon stopped him with an open hand outstretched.

"Good evening, comrade."

"He's gonna do something stupid again," Falco groaned.

"I want to know if you sold out Prince Marth and Miss Samus to the paparazzi when they were secretly returning to the hotel."

"That idiot!" Falco seethed as he tried to jump at him. The others held him back

"Ummmm, of-a course not!" Wario answered good-humoredly. "What-a gave you-a that idea?"

"Snake was very convinced that you were the perpetrator," the F-Zero racer explained. "Are you telling the truth, comrade?"

Wario shifted his eyes to both side. "Yeah."

"Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha!" Falcon laughed heartily and patted him on the shoulder. "Excuse me for the accusations. Hey! Fox, Falco, Kirby, Diddy! Comrade Wario is innocent! Tell Snake that he doesn't need to search the room anymore!"

"I'm gonna kill him!" Falco screamed and tackled the racer.

"My-a money~!" Wario screamed and ran past the two.

"Stop him!" Fox yelled.

Diddy Kong threw a banana peel which Wario slipped on, and Kirby sucked him into his mouth, trapping him.

"Let-a me out!" Wario roared from inside. A loud farting noise was heard and Kirby fell over unconscious. Wario jumped out from the puffball's mouth and ran off, leaving a trail of deadly gas.

"Even Kirby couldn't absorb that!" Fox exclaimed and whipped out his walkie talkie while shooting at the fat man. "Wario coming your way, over."

"Shit! It's gotta be here somewhere," Snake growled as he searched through Wario's belongings. Olimar and the Pikmins were now working double time, shuffling through the piles of junk on the floor.

Lifting up the mattress, the astronaut discovered a small manila envelope. Inside was a handsome sum of cash, crisp and new.

"Found it!" Olimar called to Snake.

"Good. Now let's get out of-"

"Wario!" the biker exclaimed as he threw the doors open. "You won't-a get away with-a that!"

Pulling out a glowing clove of garlic from the back of his pants, Wario greedily shoved it in his mouth. Rays of light shot out from his body and transformed him into Super Wario.

"You're-a all dead!" he cackled as he lunged at Olimar. Olimar tossed the envelope to Snake just before he was slammed into the wall. Now Wario turned his attention to Snake and charged. Despite his years of excruciating training, Snake barely dodged the biker's lightning fast strikes and was given no time to reach for a weapon or gadget. Knowing that he had to pull out, he jumped for the window.

"Oh-a no you-a don't!" Wario grabbed him by the foot and easily threw him across the room. Before Wario could close in on him, Snake heard someone yell. "Falcon…."

"PUNCH!"

Taken by surprise, Super Wario was blasted through the window. "WAAAAAaaaaaaa!"

"Comrade! Are you alright! Shall I get a band-aid? Or maybe some Robitussin?"

"Yeah, yeah, just stop yelling into my ear," Snake grumbled with a small grin. "How's Olimar?"

"I'm okay now," the small man replied as he got up with some effort. "Did you get the envelope?"

The mercenary held up the envelope.

"Thank God," Olimar sighed in relief. "Now we can bring the proof to Master Hand."

Snake nodded as he pulled himself up. "You guys go ahead; I'll be with you soon."

* * *

The Smashers were gathered in the lounge for Wario's trial.

"The court is in session, may the plaintiffs rise," Master Hand said drearily. "State your accusations."

"You, see Master Hand.." Olimar began.

"You may address me as _your honor_," the floating hand said firmly as he motioned towards the white wig that rested on the back of his palm.

"Your honor, I am here to accuse Wario of treason and bribery," Olimar stated as calmly as he could. "He is under the conviction of informing several paparazzi and media networks of Samus Aran and Emperor Marth of Altea's rescue mission in exchange for 10 000 Coins. We have substantial evidence that he is indeed guilty of this crime."

[The currency is not actual coins, it's just the name.]

Master Hand seemed to scowl. "Bring forth the evidence."

Donkey Kong, who now wore a pair of sunglasses and a Franklin Badge instead of a tie, presented the envelope that Olimar handed over. Telekinetically opening the envelope, Master Hand pulled out the bribe money and inspected. "Hmmm. Seems legit. Do you have more evidence?"

"Yes, your honor," Fox interjected.

Olimar swiftly turned back to him and whispered, "Let me do my job."

"You have to be more aggressive," Fox whispered back.

"I mean, look at this guy's record," Falco said to the judge and pulled out a long list of Wario's records. "Fraud, embezzlement, thievery, vandalism, abduction, attempted murder. I can go on and on, but one crime by far stands out from the rest. On Wednesday November 5, 4073, Wario was arrested for torrenting not only Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but also Majora's Mask, The Windwaker, _and_ Twilight Princess."

A low gasp echoed throughout the audience [the Smashers].

"T-torrenting games?" Lucario stuttered. "Umm.. Who would _ever _commit such a heinous crime?"

Nervous chuckles echoed throughout the audience.

"A grave crime indeed," Master Hand agreed solemnly. "What do the witnesses have to say about this?"

Link came to the front and sat in the chair. "I remember it. Wario was so busy trying to finish the Water Temple that he forgot to close his laptop. It clearly said 'your download is complete.' HE just torrented _three_ games under _my_ game label."

Next was Midna, who was very shaken up about that memory.

"I sincerely thank you for coming here today, milady," Master Hand greeted. "I know that this may be an unpleasant memory, so please, begin when you're ready."

"It was horrible…," she began.

Wario leered at her from the defendant's table, giving a clear warning. MIdna shuddered and shrank back a little.

"I-it all happened so fast. In just five minutes, the download was complete. And then," she confessed, at the verge of tears. "He started by playing Twilight Princess."

She broke down in tears. "He could have had the decency to play the games in chronological order, but no, that brute took advantage… I've never felt so violated in my life."

Link escorted a broken Midna away, consoling her as the crowd murmured with pity.

"Majora, will you step forward," Master Hand cleared his throat.

"No thank you, guvnur," the floating mask slurred and hovered back and forth drunkenly. "I can say what I want from here. Anywho, I bet a sixth-pence and four shillings that the fatass is guilty of this crime too. And that's all I got!"

"Fuck-a you!" Wario yelled back and flipped it off.

"Order in the court!"

"That was the only game where I got a decent role, and he **torrents**it! He ruined my life! I ought to say that he be hanged at the gallows NOW!"

The crowd was now riled up, also due to Majora's magical influence. They exclaimed viciously in agreement.

"LYNCH MOB~!" Majora cried out and shook a hangman's noose with one appendage. The Smashers now shook torches and pitchforks as they roared out in agreement.

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" Master Hand demanded and slammed down the gravel. The Smashers were knocked off their feet and slowly got up, regaining their senses.

"Take that abomination out of here," the hand ordered Donkey Kong. The apes grabbed the mask and lead it outside the lounge.

"Aww. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. G'day, guvnur!" Majora called back as it was dragged out.

"Now that everyone is sane, may the defendants state their case?"

Waluigi stepped up confidently. "Your honor, let me start off by saying that the wig suits you beautifully."

"You really think so?" the hand asked, now very interested.

"Of course," the man continued smoothly. "I just couldn't help but notice it since I entered this magnificent courthouse."

"Why thank you. It's nice to see that _someone _here has some taste."

"I never liked this guy one bit," Falco whispered to Fox. "Just looking at him lets you know that he's greasy."

Indeed, Waluigi had coated his brand new suit and tie with grease for reasons unknown and even got rid of most of his accent and now sounded like every other smooth-talking lawyer.

"It is true that my client is accountable for some… misdemeanors-"

"Misdemeanors? He ruined me for life!" Midna exclaimed between tears. "The way he raped the A button…"

"Order in the court," Master Hand demanded. "Continue."

"As I was saying, my client Wario is guilty of faults in the past, but I can assure you, he is a changed man."

"Is this true, Wario?"

"Ummm, yeah," the biker replied with a suppressed grin.

"He is now actively involved in charity work as proof," Waluigi pressed on and handed Master Hand a photo of Wario's face badly photohopped onto a man feeding a group of poor children.

"Your honor, there are no records of Wario taking part in these charity works," Olimar interjected.

"Overruled," the judge said offhandedly.

"My client has already repented for his past actions and hasn't broken any laws in Nintendo or the Smash Mansion since," the purple-suited man continued smugly.

"OBJECTION!" Metaknight called out as a large red word 'objection' popped out of nowhere, endangering himself of being sued by copyright issues. "How was he in possession of such a large amount of money?"

"OBJECTION!" Waluigi countered. "You have attained the evidence _without _a search warrant, so it is null and void!"

"He got us," Fox whispered grimly.

"OBJECTION!" Captain Falcon shouted randomly, clearly fascinated about the flashy red word.

"Any more objections?" Master Hand asked lazily. "No? Then I find Wario not-"

"OBJECTION!" Snake cried out as he burst in, accompanied by a shock of red letters. "I have video evidence of Wario sneaking out of the hotel at 1:00 in the morning of the day of the rescue."

On a projector, he displayed a security camera footage of trench coat-clad Wario silently making his way out of the hotel.

"Implausible," snorted Waluigi. "He was going to the bar."

"I was?" Wario asked.

"Yes, you were," his brother confirmed calmly.

"Oh, yeah. I-a was."

Snake changed the scene of the video to Yoshi Avenue. "It's true that he went into a bar by the name of Happy Douche Time. That's why I visited the place before I got here. The bartender clearly remembers Wario talking to a large group of people. One of them was the local anchorman. Well, my bartender friend was curious of what was going on, so he watched them for a few minutes. He described Wario marking something on a map and the other men giving money as he talked."

"But… that…," Waluigi stuttered.

"The case is closed!" Master Hand boomed. "Wario, you a guilty of bribery treason of selling out your fellow Smashers Samus Aran and Emperor Marth of Altea!"

"NOOOOO~!" Waluigi cried out as if stuck by a physical blow and fell back several feet. "I, have been… defeated."

"Lighten up, beanpole," Snake said gruffly as he lit another cigarette and tossed the used stick on the fallen body. The small ember left on the butt was enough to ignite the grease on Waluigi's suit.

"WAAAAAAAA!" Waluigi screamed as he ran for the nearest water source.

"Go get him, Squirtle!" Satoshi commanded.

"_Squirtle!"_

"What about Wario's punishment?" Fox asked.

The Master Hand shrugged as he took off his wig. "Do what you want. Mob rule. I'll be going then."

"Lynch him!" a muffle voice cried out from outside.

"I got a better idea," Snake said with a smirk and turned to where Wario sat, only to see that he wasn't there. "Where'd he go?"

"You'll-a never get me alive!" the convict cackled as the Smashers saw a yellow Harley Davidson crash out of the window in the next room.

"Release the hounds!" Snake ordered. "This is a search and destroy mission! Take no prisoners!"

A rabid Lucario led him and the rest of the search party outside.

"Okay, people. Let's-a get ready for the dinner!" Mario announced, trying to keep things normal. "Let's-a all get back in our rooms."

"No!" Bowser shot back defiantly and the rest of the Smashers seemed to agree.

"Freak out some more!" Majora screamed like a maniac.

And they did.

"You're-a gonna end up as-a firewood!" Mario threatened as he chased after the guffawing mask.

* * *

The limousines smoothly made their way across the road with the occasional speed bumps.

Ike adjusted the collar of his shirt, obviously nervous for his first fanmeeting.

"Relax," Link said. "You just have to say a few words and pretend you're invisible after that. Well, at least that's what I did at my first fanmeeting."

"I'm not used to such crowds," Ike protested.

"You've commanded armies before. This should be a piece of cake."

"This is… different," the mercenary replied as he took off his black vest.

"Are you sweating?" Link asked incredulously.

"T- the suit's a bit uncomfortable."

"Marth, This guy's already sweating like a pig!" Link snickered. "Wait until he actually starts speaking to the crowd!"

"That's not funny!" Ike almost hissed at him.

"Marth?"

"Hmmm. Oh. Yeah," the blunette said absentmindedly. All the magazines, newspapers, and

"You seemed stressed out for the whole day," the Hylian remarked. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

Link slapped him on the shoulder. "If it's about that stupid scandal, don't put too thought on it. It'll pass."

"Hm."

"This is Nintendo World News and we're here on the scene with Master Hand," a reporter announced delightfully. "So Master Hand, how do you evaluate the incoming Smashers?"

"This season, you'll be seeing Smashers with a large variety of skills. The newcomers have a lot of potential, but they aren't without their weaknesses. Super Smash Bros Brawl will be even more intense and more exciting than Melee. Be sure to follow along and we'll update you with the latest news of Super Smash Bros."

"Thank you, Master Hand."

"Always a pleasure, Dianne."

"Oh, here come the Smashers now."

The first limousine opened, and Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, and Diddy Kong stepped out, waving to the crowd and flashing cameras. Still giving their attention to the people, they walked down the red carpet to where Master Hand was. The second limousine came to a stopped for Boswer, Ganondorf, and King Dedede to exit. Their followed suit and grudgingly stood beside the first batch of Smashers.

Once all the Smashers had faced the crowd, they were escorted to a set of long tables in a large open field. Once seated, the reporters and journalists began to ask their questions.

"Mario, will you still be the representative of the Brawl Tournament, or is there another Smasher who poses a threat to your position?"

"It-a has been-a decided that I'll-a still be the representative, but I-a say that the next-a person viable for-a the spot would-a be Link or-a Pikachu."

"What's in store for us in the next tournament?"

"I-a don't want to give-a any spoilers, but there-a _is_ a special item that-a lets us-a unleash-a our a full power. But-a only for-a limited time."

"Oohh, sounds dangerous. Now we'll continue by interviewing the newcomers."

The reporters continued their interrogations, eventually getting to Ike. Ear-splitting screams erupted from the crowd. Colorfully decorated signs of "Marry Me Ike" and "We Like Ike" waved around enthusiastically.

"Ike, how does it feel like to first train with the other veterans."

He gulped hard and began to sweat uncontrollably. "I'm, errr, honored to flight, I mean fight, with them. I… ummm… think they are great fighters. I, ummm, think they are one the best I, umm, sparred against."

"Ike, what's your favorite food?"

"Ike, who have you befriended the most out of all the Smashers?"

"Do you fight for your friends?"

"Do you also do Crack and Heroin?"

"One question at a time, people," Link said into his microphone. The reporters continued once the crowd calmed down.

"Ike, are there any women that have caught your interest?"

The fangirls screamed once more, jumping up and down, hoping that the overwhelmed mercenary would notice them.

"I-I, ummm…"

"It's okay if it's a _man_ in your life."

"No, that's not it…"

Link motioned to Marth to save their new friend. Marth gestured Link to take action. Reluctantly, the Hylian cleared his throat.

"Yes, there is a fair maiden-."

The fans screamed louder, hurting his sensitive ears. He inwardly grimaced in pain. "But her identity is only known by Ike, Marth, and I. The information will be released in due time."

Ike shot him a look of gratefulness and confusion. _What are you talking abour?_

"Link, how is your relationship with Zelda coming along?"

"Next question." Link waved his hand dismissively.

"Do you feel like the newcomers are a threat to your position as a high-tier Smasher?"

"A lot of them bring in a wide array of fighting styles, but we can only figure that out in the Tournament."

"Miss Samus Aran! You look simply gorgeous in that dress!"

"Thanks…," she barely mumbled into the mike.

"How do you feel about your newfound popularity?"

"Not very used to this kind of attention."

"As you may know, there has been a great scandal between you and Marth. What exactly is you relationship with him?"

Samus's throat tightened up and her heart began to feel constricted. Emotions twisted and churned inside her, ready to burst out at any moment. Before she lost control of herself, the bounty hunter bolted backstage.

The crowd froze in shock and confusion, then the spectators started to murmur and whisper amongst themselves. Even with the uneasy atmosphere, the reporter continued a little more apprehensively.

"Prince, I mean, Emperor Marth. Is the scandal involving you and Samus true? Did the two of you run off to a deserted island to escape from prying eyes?"

Marth maintained his stony countenance, but rapidly processed the options he had. In the mob, he thought he spotted Lord Belarus. If he could only drag on this faced for a little longer; but he may lose Samus in the process. The people anxiously awaited his reply, sitting at the edge of their seats. Slowly shifting his body to move closer to the microphone, he opened his mouth.

"No. I had no such intention of running away with her."

In the darkness of the backstage, Samus bit down on her lower lip and shed the few tears she allowed, not wanting to hear the rest.

"But, Samus Aran is more than a fellow Smasher or a friend to me," he continued indignantly. "She is the second person to make my heart skip a beat and make me act like a fool. She's someone who I would spend the rest of my life with. Samus Aran, I love you."

The crowd was totally silent, trying to register the information. Marth walked back through the curtains and found Samus against the wall. She looked up to face him, eyes wide.

"Did you mean that?" she almost whispered.

"If I didn't, then I must be mad," he replied and pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry about earlier. I hurt you a lot, didn't I?"

"Forget about that. This is now," she said and let a few more tears trickle down, letting him hold her for a bit longer.

Marth pulled away enough to inspect her face. "Why you crying? D-did I do something wrong?"

"I'm not crying," she insisted and punched him in the chest.

"Ow, that hurts," he chuckled, and then wiped her face with his hand. "I think you need another hug."

"Marth, I have to tell you something."

"What is it, love?"

"I… spied on you when you met with your council."

"I see."

"You're not mad?"

"I guess I should be, but I'm not," he said with a smile. "Well, right now."

"What about them? Your kingdom?"

"Fuck them. I'll do my best to keep my kingdom prosperous. But right now, this is our moment."

While they enjoyed their moment in a tight embrace, the curtains flew open, exposing them to the spotlights and flashing cameras. People cheered and applauded for the couple.

"Or not."

"My little girl grew up so fast," Peach cried tears of happiness as she clapped profusely.

"Aren't you younger than her?" Zelda interjected.

"That's besides the point, honey," the pink princess said with a sniff.

"Marth, they're _staring_ at us," Samus hissed, trying to break free.

"Come on Sammie. You're starting to sound like a little kid. Let them stare all they want," he answered and tightened his grip.

"Don't call me that," she growled.

"If that's what you want, future wife."

"That's even worse!" she hissed as her face reddened.

* * *

Link navigated himself through the banquet hall, occasionally signing autographs, taking pictures with fans, or chatting with businessmen. He finally found Zelda and breathed a sigh of accomplishment.

"Hey."

"Oh, hello Link," she said shyly, admiring him in his sleek suit. Link gazed wondrously as the purple dress seemed to gracefully sway with the princess as one.

"How's the banquet?" he asked. _Damn, why am I suddenly so awkward around her all of a sudden?_

"I-It's nice."

A period of silence cut between them. _Goddesses, damn it. It's like when we were kids all over again._

"Marth made a pretty bold move today," Link remarked.

"Yeah. I feel really happy for Samus," the princess said with a small, sweet smile.

"Ummmm."

"When are we going to do the same?" Zelda asked almost cautiously.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"W-when are we going to make _our_ relationship public?"

Link laughed out loud and planted a small kiss on her forehead. "Soon, Zelda, soon."

"Why not today?"

"We don't want to break too many of the fans' hearts in one night, now do we?"

Zelda giggled. "I suppose not."

"I promise I will. In a month, at latest."

Several feet away, the doors of the hall flew open and Snake stumbled in, adjusting his tie. "Sorry I'm late. Had to beat up on Wario."

He turned to Master Hand, who had a bowtie on his wrist.

"Where's Samus?" he asked briskly as he fumbled a rose from the folds of his suit.

"Oh, she's busy with Marth on the balcony."

"Excuse me?"

"They're a couple now," the hand explained flatly. "It's been announced on international TV."

"Eh?" Snake uttered hollowly as the rose suddenly withered away with his emotions.

"Snake, will you be alright?"

The mercenary lumbered to the door, brooding.

"Where are you going? The banquet just started."

"To shove _this_ up Wario's ass!" he seethed as he squeezed the dead rose in a vice grip.

* * *

At the bar in another room, Captain Falcon was drinking his heart out, moaning and groaning about lost love.

"We was so in love~! Oh baby~! BABYYYYYYY~!" he sang/screamed at the top of his lungs.

"You shouldn't drink so much," Ike warned imploringly as he tried to pry the whiskey bottle from his hands.

The racer pulled his arm away. "Nobody know nuthin' 'bout us! We was a couple sent frum heav'n!"

With that, he slumped into unconsciousness. With a sigh, Ike downed his cup quickly. He wasn't used to these kind of expensive gatherings.

"Hey there, handsome," an eerily familiar voice cooed into Ike's ear. Like a rabbit being stalked, Ike's body froze on instinct. Slowly, he swiveled his head back, and jumped in surprise and fear.

"A-Aimee?" he gagged, going pale.

"Who else, darling?" the merchant said seductively as she forced him against the counter by making him back up from her nearing body.

"W-what are you doing here?" he sputtered, trying to get some breathing space.

"Oh, I just heard that you were around here so…" she answered casually as she twirled her dark hair with one hand.

"You _followed _me here?!"he cried out incredulously.

"We had… coincidentally the same destination, if you may," she corrected, slowly moving closer like a cobra.

"Ummm, I think I have to go now," Ike said as he pushed her a bit roughly away. She fell to the floor and began to cry like a little girl. People around them turned to look at the scene.

"Hey isn't that Ike?" one man murmured.

"Did he just push that young lady?"

"Man, just because he's a celebrity, he thinks he can do whatever he wants."

Feeling the negative aura from the people around him, Ike hesitantly helped Aimee up, handling her as if she was radioactive.

A drunk man slurred. "Hey, miss. Ya shouldn't let 'im push ya 'round jest cuz he got some looks. Ya should kick yer boyfriend to da curb right 'way!"

As she was pulled up, Aimee jumped onto Ike, locked her legs around him and hugged him, squeezing the air from his lungs. "Actually, we're engaged!" she exclaimed as she wiped away her crocodile tears.

"We're not," the mercenary tried to wheeze, struggling to get the woman off of him.

Aimee deviously whispered into Ike's ear, "Oh, I forgot to tell you; that drink you just had, I put one of my special brews in it, husband. It should kick in just about…. now."

Ike started to feel lightheaded and dizzy. He fell to the floor, all coordination robbed from his body.

"I guess my fiancée had one too many drinks," Aimee announced. "I'll just take him out. Have a good night, everyone!"

"What a woman!" one man mused.

"What a wife she'll be."

"Bastard doesn't deserve a woman like her."

"This… is all… a misunderstanding," Ike tried to protest. Amazingly, the woman lifted the large man off the ground and walked him out the bar.

"Don't worry, husband," Aimee cooed. "Once you regain your senses, I'll already have given you my strongest batch of 'love potion.' Then, you'll be all _mine_."

Using his remaining strength, Ike stumbled away to the exit. _I have to get away from this madwoman!_

Enjoying the thrill of the hunt, the merchant ran after him. "You can't run for long, Ikey-poo!"

* * *

Samus stared as the pale moonlight reflected off of the emperor's light skin and as the wind flowed through his dark, silky hair. His eyes shone with the color of the deep sea and their shapes curved in an exotic fashion.

"Am I that good-looking?" he glanced sideways and noticed her gaze.

"Don't flatter yourself, pretty boy," Samus scoffed looking away.

Marth discontinued from admiring the ocean and sky to assuage his lover. "No need to be so cold, Sammie."

"Then you should drop that prince complex," the bounty hunter said half jokingly.

"Then don't act so manly," he returned with a playful grin, which earned him a knock on the head.

Samus turned away with her arms crossed defensively.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I take everything I said back," Marth apologized.

Samus didn't seem to acknowledge him.

_So this is a power-play, huh?_ He dropped to his knees and rubbed his hands together pleadingly. "Please don't be mad, Sammie. I'll do anything to make it up."

"First of all, stop calling me that."

"Yes ma'am."

"And secondly," she continued and pulled her face closer to his, "Tell me what you like about me."

Marth stood up with a devilish grin. "Hmm, Samus wants a man to compliment her looks? I guess she's not a man after all."

She simply bopped him over the head again.

"Okay, okay. Where to begin," he mused coyly. "You have more hills and valleys than the mountain ranges of my homeland-"

**WAM!**

"Ouch. Moving on; your eyes are like the most clearly cut emerald in the world. Your hair is a wave of flowing gold, and it smells nice today-"

**WAM!**

"It only smells nice _today_? What's that supposed to mean?"

"That's not what I meant. Okay, I'll be more serious. It's just that you look hot as hell today."

"Hmph. Next," she said, trying to cover up her exposed leg.

"Yes ma'am," Marth saluted. His expression then softened as he gently lifted her chin, studying her facial features: her mascara-ed green eyes, perfectly curved nose, and rouged full lips. "Truthfully, you're not just really pretty. You're beautiful."

Samus looked away bashfully. "Shut up," she mumbled.

"And even though you act tough, you're a very kind person. You have the warmth of a mother. That's what I love most about you, Samus Aran."

_I can't breathe, _she thought to herself. _This is too much for me_.

"And that hug everyone saw, that's nothing. I saved _this_ for just the two of us," he said and pushed his lips onto hers. Once their kiss grew deeper, they started to feel each other's body passionately, exploring curves and muscle.

"That, was, quite something," Samus breathed as she moderated her ventilation.

"Agreed," Marth said with heavy breaths.

"Soooo, round 2?" the blonde suggested.

Marth chuckled. "Another time. The others are waiting downstairs and the party's almost over."

"Fine. But I'll be taking lead next time," Samus said with competitive enthusiasm.

"Whatever you say," he conceded with a shrug. "And next time, _you _have to say what you love about _me_."

"You're already cocky enough. We don't want your ego reaching heaven."

"Pleeeease?"

"Oh, fine," she agreed with a smile.

* * *

Once the guests left and the hotel staff started to clean up, the Smashers planned to go to a bar to congratulate the new couple.

"Another one?" Captain Falcon groaned drunkenly, already overloaded on alcohol.

"Can I go too?" Ness asked excitedly.

"It's past your bedtime, and you're not old enough to drink yet," Samus told him. "You and the other guys can go to a theme park tomorrow once we're back home. Marth's paying for it."

"I am?"

"Aunt Sammie, are you and prince Marth gonna get married?" Nana asked hopefully as her brother made a gagging noise in the background.

The bounty hunter's face became flushed once more. "T-that's not decided yet."

"Of course we are," the blunette interjected and wrapped an arm around her. "And we're both going to live in a big palace and have lots of kids."

Samus's face was now steaming, but she didn't want to punch Marth in the face in front of the children.

"Really? Yay!" Nana cheered and jumped up giddily.

"Now go to your rooms and get a good night's sleep. You guys have to go to the theme park tomorrow," Marth ushered.

After the children happily ran off, Marth comically raised an eyebrow. "You're an aunt now?"

"I already feel old as it is," Samus stated depressingly.

"I don't mind having an older woman," Marth replied and mimicked a growling sound of a tiger.

Samus failed to hide a smile and lightly punch him in the arm for it. "Shut up."

"Hey-a, you two-a lovebirds! Hurry up!" Mario called to them.

"Coming!" Marth called back. "This will be a night to remember."

Samus slammed down another empty glass of beer.

"That's her tenth glass!" Wolf exclaimed.

"Go Samus!" Peach cheered.

"What 'cha waitin' for? Get me another!" Samus slurred, now under the influence.

Donkey Kong cautiously leaned close to Marth. "Bro, aren't you a l'il scared that she might be the one wearin' the pants in your relationship?"

"Oi! Jus' cuz I wear a tiara don't mean I can't hold my liquor, peasant," Marth hiccupped as he sloppily swung a bottle. "I'm not gunna lose t' her!"

"This is the battle of the sexes!" Fox announced in his best anchorman voice while holding an empty bottle as a microphone. "Marth is in the lead with 17 bottles and Samus close behind him with 14 bottles!"

"But it seems like Marth's not pacing himself well," Falco, his co-anchor, pointed out. "And look! They're not even using their beer glasses anymore! They're going straight for the bottles!"

"Guy's! Drink-a responsibly!" Mario scolded.

The cheering and binge drinking went on until Marth collapsed onto the table.

"Oh, looks like Marth is at his limit of 20 whole bottles! Can Samus beat his record?" Falco commentated.

"By the looks of it, Samus may be able to top that, ladies and gents!" Fox said. "Twenty bottles! Just one more!"

"Shut it! I'm try'na drink here!" Samus barked and started on her sixteenth.

"And there she goes… She's starting to get wobbly! AND THERE IT IS! TWENTY-ONE BOTTLES! WEHAVE A WINNER! What's this? She's going for her TWENTY-SECOND!"

Samus downed bottle after bottle as the Smashers stared in shock and disgust, until Samus's body slumped into unconsciousness.

"TWENTY-EIGHT F****** BOTTLES, LADIES AND GENTS IN AN HOUR!" Fox almost gagged. "Is this even possible?"

"It must be her part-Chozo DNA here at work!" Falco exclaimed. "Nevertheless, Samus Aran is the winner!"

The bar erupted with cheering and alcohol splashing around. Doctor Mario made his way through his taller friends to the intoxicated couple.

"Okay guys! That's-a enough. I'll-a bring them back to-a the hotel and-a give them some pills."

"Good idea," Mario agreed, glad that the madness has come to an end. "Make-a sure that they'll-a be presentable for-a tomorrow. The rest of-a us should-a also get-a back."

"No way!" Peach protested. "This party's just getting started!"

"We-a have to-a get back now!"

The princess looked up at him with round puppy-eyes. "Pleeeease."

The plumber sighed in defeat. "Okay. Only-a ten more-a minutes."

Wolf was already plotting against him. "Bowser, the Rufee?"

"Already put it in his drink."

"Good. Peach, find the nearest casino."

* * *

The neon city lights glowed almost serenely around the moving car. The seemingly sleepless city of Delfino was still full of activity, except now, a bit more mellow and sober way. People were meeting old acquaintances, taking strolls down the open streets, or returning to their hotels after a long day. In the car, Samus rested her head on her lover shoulder, enjoying the silent time between them. They were now detoxified, thanks to Dr. Mario's pills, and relaxed in the backseat of the tinted vehicle.

"Samus?"

"Hmmm?"

"You okay now?"

"Never felt better," she answered with a soft smile.


	9. Chapter 9 (FIN)

_**The last chapter! **_

_I hope everyone who read this story enjoyed it and wish for more stories like this. I'm open to take pairings, ideas, small snippets of an undeveloped plot, ANYTHING that you, my dear readers, want to bring to fanfiction. Just send me a private message or write something in the comments section and I will most definitely put it into great consideration. Once I start a commission, I will actively message you for suggestions and questions so that you can be a big part in writing the story. I will give you credit as the co-author and let everyone know of your genius! _;)

* * *

It was 6 in the morning, and the Smashers drunkenly or tiredly stumbled in the hotel's hallway. After saying sloppy goodnights, they made their way into a room (might not even be the right one).

Suddenly, Link yelled, "What the fuck happened here!"

More yelling and screaming came from the room incomprehensively. The other Smashers rushed into his room, wondering what the commotion was about. They found Marth and Samus in a bed, covered only by the sheets. Link was gaping and shouting back random words in shock. The Smashers applauded, congratulated the couple, hooted and whistled.

Holding the bedsheets close to her, Samus started to throw various objects in her reach, screaming, "Get the hell out! Don't look! Everybody get the fuck out!"

After teasing them a bit more, the Smashers exited the room, still squealing or snickering.

"They're so immature," Samus growled.

"Let them have their fun," Marth chuckled. "At least Link didn't barge into the middle of our 'session.'"

Samus's cheeks reddened at the thought. "God, that would be embarrassing."

"So," Marth asked. "How was your first time?"

"It was… amazing. Sorry I was I little awkward at first."

Marth laughed contently. "Don't worry about it. You'll get better with practice. And we'll have plenty of that."

Now the bounty hunter's face was burning. "Can we stop talking about this stuff? 'Night."

She quickly lied down, facing the opposite side of Marth, forcing herself to sleep.

"Goodnight," he returned and planted a kiss on her neck before turning to the other side and turning the light off.

After a few minutes passed when Samus made sure that he was sleeping. When she confirmed this by his restful breathing, she snuggled up against his back and joined him on cloud nine.

* * *

The plane took off in the morning after the Smashers said their final goodbyes to the Delfino Isles. In the plane, Peach fussed over her drunken pictures that were leaked last night. Pikachu curled up on Samus's lap. Lucario tried to mediate whilst Squirtle incessantly poked him. Luigi nervous worried whether the plane would land safely. Ness performed various yoyo tried as Lucas dodged the swinging toy. Link gave the pretty flight attendant a killer smile, causing Zelda to pout her cheeks and kick the back of his seat. While he was busy apologizing to his girlfriend, Marth pulled out a pair of earphones and plugged it into his smartphone. He put one earphone into his left ear and offered the other to Samus. Unexpectedly, he noticed something missing and yanked out the headset.

"Hey, where's Ike?"

* * *

Marth's playlist in shuffle:

watch?v=1RTl3HXK_NI

watch?v=3rmPz_qyU9g

watch?v=4TE2OsK0mIg

watch?v=RxM5Oa7kHzU

watch?v=2TKnDTrSWCQ

watch?v=QlUCZtX37vg

watch?v=9ZffkNgJGE0 / watch?v=hvmMX0I63XI OR watch?v=vGBjigy_pck

Author's note:

I've had a lot of fun writing this. I think this is the 1st fanfic I actually finished. Yay me~! And I hope you guys enjoy the playlist! Anyways, don't forget to give any suggestions and look out for my new stories: "Super Smash Famiglia Mafiosa" and "The King's Shadow." They have more mature themes and are much darker, if you're into that kinda stuff. I'll still be writing heartwarming oneshots in between. I sincerely thank you for reading, subscribing and reviewing. Your comments make me smile


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